well, for those of you who were aware of the situation on monday or at least how i felt then i have got to get this out and i need help please. i have been on a 72 hr hold sinse monday evening. they just let me off today if i would sign in voluntarily. they know how helpful u all have been to me thus they have let me out to the computer at the library today to try and talk with whoever is willing to listen. my feelings to die are stronger than ever. they keep telling me i know what i need and honestly i have no idea anymore. the only thing that is very alive and real to me today is i desire nothing more than to die. i'm sorry u all are listening to this again. i just don't know what to do. this is so hard. i just want to go home so i can die and in peace. they have put me on a new medication which they are expecting to really help, but i have to be honest i feel like i am beyond all that anymore. i can't stop feeling this way. last nite i started doing the rubberband on my wrist thing cause my urge i feel like is stressing me out to the point of just killing me. i left a modest welt there of course but i gave up a short while later when i felt no relief. i honestly feel like just taking off at this point and going back home to do what i have so strongly desired for at least the last week. anyone have any suggestions on getting through this? cause honestly i feel it's just time to go home and let go.