I chose to leave my brother's house, so he doesn't get into trouble for having me here. I've been here because I can't face my roommate, who has driven me batshit crazy. She seems to have calmed down a bit - or at least I taught her to leave me alone in emails and PMs while I was away. I'm relieved that the decision is made. That takes away half my stress, but now brings its own brand of WTF is going to happen next? Not to down her for honestly having some disabilities, but I've been taking care of her 24/7 (including financially) for 10 months now. I'm totally burned out on constantly care-giving, for one, that's a given. I'm also burned out because it took us forever to find housing, and going through the loops to attain it, while dealing with being homeless. When we got into this place I told her that I need privacy and alone time to recover. She hasn't respected that, at all, to the point where she was pushing me harder, instead. I finally broke down and went to my brother's to get away. Now my fear is going back - which I was actually putting off, and now I can't any longer. I am dreading her. Constantly complaining, constantly bitching about things or other people - no one is as good as (or as in pain as much as) she is. I ended up in the hospital moving a box (after asking her to please, please, do not move storage all at once, but in increments) and returned home to tell her I wouldn't do any more, only to have her tell me "Well, I'll trade you my back for your's." If I have a small problem (headache, stress) she has not only what I have but ten times the amount. Its like playing poker, and I'm tired of it. Its all about her. She's the victim. She's the best. She's everything as long as she's in the middle and gets all of the attention. She even interrupts others' conversations to butt in and tell her fantastic tales of woe, or glory, or give her un-asked-for advice. I am sick of it. And now I'm dreading returning. I have two weeks before I can go elsewhere. I've been stressed to the point where I'm having suicidal ideation again, and a nervous breakdown that's included a 3 week headache. I do not expect things to have changed, and I know she can go from "I'm happy" to "I'm hysterical" (be it good or bad) in 02 seconds, and it's all about the drama. I've been trying to get her roommates. So far it appears nothing has come of this. She says no one has returned the messages. I have no way to prove if anyone has or hasn't, and have put this all on her. I don't want to leave her high-and-dry, because that would be wrong, in my book. However, I am leaving. I have a place (matter of fact two options) to go. But I am terrified of the blow-out that is going to occur. Hell, I'm terrified of going back tomorrow. All of this has really done some damage to me, psychologically and emotionally. I'm a fucking wreck. I know in two weeks the wreckage will fall and this will all be over with, but in the interim I'm tired of going to sleep thinking about just dying, in order to make it stop, having nightmares every night about the situation, and of waking up thinking about this, and of constant obsessive thoughts trying to figure this all out. I'm sick. I'm exhausted. I'm burned out. And I'm just plain fucking tired. I have no idea how to address any of this, with her, except to just wait til the last moment and then pack and leave - and let her have her fit then. Its not how I'd like it to be - but I don't know any other way of handling a person such as this. I tell you, it makes me terrified of having roommates ever again.