Still no better

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AJE, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. AJE

    AJE Well-Known Member

    For those that remember my story from a while ago my inner feelings havnt got any better.
    The split from my wife has just totally ruined my life.
    I've been talking to a lot of women on date sites & even met a couple, they were very nice but they are not my ex wife !!!!!
    I just can't seem to get over her, I'm back at work full time & going out more but my heart still feels dead without her.
    I truly believe I will never be happy again, I just dont want to spend the rest of my life yearning for & wanting someone I can't have.
    There's a cloud that sits over my waking hours every day.
     
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    TIME: The great healer. Sadly these things do take time. How long? How long is a piece of string? Its different for everyone. But slowly, time eats away and erodes thoughts and feelings and emotions.

    I fell in love fairly recently with someone who I had not known for very long. If she asked me to die for her I would have. When we were apart I physically ached all over. With her, I was fine, without her, a fucking mess. Then came the time when she moved on and her life went back to what it used to be and I was ready to end ut all yet again. Talk about a backwards step. But, since that day, I have kept in touch, but the strength of emotion and the ache has subsided a little bit. Hopefully, it will continue that way.

    So yeah, its hard, really hard letting go, but give it as long as it takes and slowly things will improve and that cloud will lift a little.
     
    AJE and chiaroscura like this.
  3. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry for that pain you are experiencing. I think it's one of the worst pains there is. But SinisterKid's reply was good. And I echo it. Even though it seems impossible in the early months, somehow slowly, the pain softens. It's hard to believe it ever could. And it's not that you forget the person, or how much it hurt, but for me, anyway, it's more that the feelings become less intense.

    I was first dumped when I was 13 by another 13-year-old. No one would believe that kids that young could really attach. But I had. I seriously doubt he had. He did a sudden ditch, no warning, just came over and said we were through. I don't want to tell you how many years ago that was, but in a way, I still love him as much as I did then. Seems impossible. That never changed.

    But what changed, although it took many years, was the strength of my feelings, and the frequency that I thought of him. Less and less, all of it, but if asked about it, I can recall exactly the love I felt, but I accept that it's definitely downstream. I hate that life is like that, but it is. There is nothing I can say to fix anything for you, of course, but I share my story so you will know that you are not alone. You are not abandoned and you never WILL be by us. Please come back and share and use the many shoulders that are here for you. And cry a lot if you can. It helps a lot. Again, I'm so sorry. Hugs.
     
    AJE likes this.
  4. chelsK1992

    chelsK1992 New Member

    Separation is extremely hard. It great that you're getting out there and meeting new people. But you can't keep comparing them to your ex. I personally don't believe in a 'One True' I believe that it is possible for us as human being to have multiple loves across our life time. You probably have just not met your next great love. Keep you head up and stay positive. She's out there.
     
    AJE, chiaroscura and SinisterKid like this.