Still struggling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ava_E, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. Ava_E

    Ava_E Member

    I posted on here for the first time earlier this year - talking to others made me realise what I was experiencing was pretty serious and prompted me to see a doctor for the first time about my low mood. I was told I had depression, was prescribed antidepressants and referred to a CBT group.
    Although it was reassuring to have these feelings taken seriously and feeling I was doing something about it, the antidepressants ended up making me feel worse - I was just numb and not feeling the good just added to my feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem. The CBT group also never happened and now I've come off the medication I feel like I'm back to square one. I feel as bad as I did before and am now having thoughts again about hurting myself. So frustrated as I really thought seeking help would get me on the right track.
    I don't really know the purpose of posting all this but I just can't keep going as I am I'm just getting worse and worse but have no idea what to do now about it.
     
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Antidepressants can take time to work. One person I spoke to at group therapy said it was 3 months before the sertraline worked for her. They had to up the dose to the max. Plus, in the time you are waiting for them to work, they can actually make you feel worse. How screwed up is that? When someone told me that I thought they were joking, but alas no, its true.

    So do you have a psych doc at all? or any kind of doctor who is responsible for your treatment? They cant tell you that you have depression then do nothing about it. There are a lot of different meds out there and it can take a little time to find what works for you. Four months in and I am still trying to find what works for me because nothing has so far. Much of it comes down to where you are in the world, how good your doc is and how good/understanding your psych is. You also need a lot of patience because recovery from depression does not happen overnight.
     
    brknsilence likes this.
  3. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    Like mentioned above, maybe you need different medicine or a stronger dosage? Have you considered going to any support groups in the area? I can relate. The first time I took an antidepressant I hated it. It actually made me extremely manic. I basically went from being depressed to being so uplifted that I didn't care about my life (but in the reckless dangerous way). That summer I got into all sorts of mess that kind of added on to the rest of my problems. It is a tough road. I am going to try meds again but I have anxiety about that as well. Have you tried some light exercise to naturally boost your mood? Maybe walking around outside or some gentle yoga to set your mind at ease? I know it sounds corny but sometimes physical activity can be distracting and can help tire you out so you don't think as much. Not to mention the endorphins. Are you still seeing a therapist?
     
    brknsilence likes this.
  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    How are you doing? Are you safe? Let us know how you're doing. Hugs
     
  5. Ava_E

    Ava_E Member

    I gave it some time and I think they started working but that was the problem - I wasn't having my periods of feeling drastically down but I also wasn't feeling anything else either. I just felt numb and like I wasn't really me. After a couple of months I had to come off as I felt like I wasn't being myself with other people and I lost loads of confidence in social situations. It's good to know though that it's not just me who's ended up feeling worse after taking them. I'm just really put off trying them again!

    And no, no psych doctor. As I said I was referred on to CBT and I did have an assessment which was good - but they never contacted me about the group despite me chasing them. I've moved areas now so would probably need to start from scratch with being assessed etc but I've honestly been put off by this last experience!

    Definitely agree things won't start getting better overnight - I think this is something I need to remember instead of blaming myself for not getting on with the medication.
     
    SinisterKid likes this.
  6. Ava_E

    Ava_E Member

    Hey thanks for the reply! It's good to hear people with similar experiences!

    I have actually looked for support groups in the area but not really seen any appropriate ones - any recommendations for specific ones I could look out for?

    And yes absolutely agree about the exercise - I run about 3-4 times per week and walk everywhere and it definitely does help!

    Not currently seeing a therapist as I'm a student currently on placement which is Monday-Friday 9-5 with no chance of booking time off but I want to start having sessions once this is finished.
     
  7. Ava_E

    Ava_E Member

    Thank you so much for your reply - I am feeling slightly better now but still having thoughts.. Everyone's advice has been useful though I know I need to try and get further help!
     
    lightning05 likes this.
  8. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Here if you want to talk. Hugs