I have been coming back to this forum for a couple of years now, and I'm still suicidal on a weekly basis. I have 2 previous attempts and I now know of a sure way to do it, if I choose to do it, I'm sure it's going to work. I guess I'm hoping for a miracle. I have screwed up my life so much becasue I don't care if I live or die. I can't function in real life, I can't do the things I used to do becasue I get physically ill. I have been to hospitals and it doesn't realy help because they seem to think that I'm normal. I have thought about why I want to kill myself and there are a couple of life events why I want to do it, but now I'm thinking that even If I didn't have those, I still would want to do it. Maybe I'm genetacialy predisposisioned to suicide. Even if everything was going well, and I have reached all my goals I would be contemplating suicide. I'm scared now becasue of my don't care atittude I'm changing into somebody else. Wanting to kill myself is realy a heavy burden.