It never goes away does it.. I can remember far back into my childhood.. Maybe 4 or 5.. Before I even started Kindergarten, I remember waiting for everyone to fall asleep and quietly trying to open the front door to sneak away and disappear. Didn't matter that I had no where to go, I just wanted to leave and be gone away forever... Now I'm 27. My parents brag about the things I do for a living... My car is black and so shinny I try to keep it spotless all the time.. I have a house that I share with my brother and a roommate but its ours.. So accomplished.. And her.. God shes beautiful, I love her smile the warmth or her skin. The way her kisses can just melt my heart away.. You'd think I'd be happy.. But I'm not. I'm sitting here in my bed wishing.. Just wishing.. Wishing to die.. Hoping it would be soon.. Perferably tomorrow. I'm just so tired.. I don't know why I'm pushing forward.. We try to please others but when are we going to please ourselves?