Still?!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by TreadingBlue, May 5, 2011.

  1. TreadingBlue

    TreadingBlue Well-Known Member

    In 7th grade I made a best friend, me and him had a majority of our classes together so we were always talking. We'd talk in class, in the hallway, at school dances, we never ran out of anything to say. People thought we were dating but he never showed any attraction to me, just friends. And you know what? I was totally fine with it. Sure I would have loved to be his girlfriend but things were great the way they were and I settled for that. 7th grade was the start of my depression, I used to have moments where I would just shut down- stare at nothing, by myself and not say a word. But as soon as I saw him there would be a huge grin on my face.
    One day he just stopped talking to me, few words were exchange until the end of the year. I couldn't figure it out, I still don't know what went wrong. I would go up to him and ask what was wrong, did I say something, did I do something, what?! But he just pretended I wasn't there. That killed me, those moments I mentioned before had become my entire mood.
    The first day of eight grade everywhere I looked I hoped to see him but I couldn't find him. I went to lunch with my best friend Kate and she said she had something to tell me, he had moved across town. She had knew since the summer but didn't tell me because she didn't want me to be sad. I barely talked to anyone for the rest of the day. I felt like someone punched me in the gut, I literally lost my breath after she told me. I had never cried for a guy, I thought that was stupid but after that's how I would fall asleep. I cried so hard for him I would choke. I still haven't cried for any other guy.
    Now in freshman year my school went downtown for a rally, guess who I saw? We talked for maybe five minutes, I felt amazing for the rest of the day. My cheeks actually hurt from smiling so much.
    Right now I don't like anybody but each time I think about him everything floods back. My heart thumps everytime he comes into my mind. I would still do anything for him, seeing him happy used to make my entire day. Why am I still like this? What's wrong with me? Is it because I never really got to say good bye to him? I hate when young girls say they love a boy but I just don't know. It's different with him, I could have talked about anything with him.
    Is this normal at all? Will I ever get over him?
     
  2. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    It's perfectly normal and it sounds like you have some deep feelings for this guy. Isn't there any way you two can become friends again? Work things out and get some answers, as I'm assuming he's a lot more mature now and may be willing to open up about what happened back then.

    If that's not a possibility, then really.. out of sight, out of mind. You've survived these past few years without him, it just takes a while for the memory is seeing him again to wear off and to hope you don't keep bumping into him and having those feelings resurfaced.
     
  3. TreadingBlue

    TreadingBlue Well-Known Member

    There is facebook but he's never really on. I don't know what I would say, even over a computer I still get anxious.
    That's always a possiblity but it's just so hard. I do like other guys sometimes but I know there's still feelings for him in the back of my mind.
    Thanks for the advice :)