i havent been on here in months cause i havent been needing it. but i just woke up with a bad stomach ache. i cant stop shaking and part of my abdomen went numb. throwing up is my worst feat and i get really worked up over every stomach pain i have. i just want to die. id rather die than throw up. i hate myself so much cause i called my boyfriend cuz i needed someone to talk to but he has to work in the morning so i feel bad. i didnt want to keep him up any longer so now im dealing by myself and its so hard. so im trying to just keep my mind off of it.i want to go on a walk but its almost 3am. im writing this just to vent and a have a distraction.