Stone the crows

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by disoriented, Aug 31, 2011.

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  1. disoriented

    disoriented Member

    I don't really know where to put this but I felt this was the most appropriate place. Composing songs is seemingly the only thing that makes these nights disappear for me. Here's the lyrics for a song I wrote tonight.


    Writing these songs at night
    is just my personal defense
    Cause you know I need to do something
    to mute the silence

    From screaming in my ears
    reminding me of my fears
    provoking these tears

    Today
    I'll stone the crows
    you'll see
    yeah you'll see

    Today
    sadness will no longer impose
    on me
    the escapee
    the refugee

    Now I've packed my bags
    with shirts, trousers and boots
    pants, socks, jackets
    together with my roots

    Today
    I'll stone the crows
    you'll see
    yeah you'll see

    Today
    the sadness no longer impose
    on me
    the escapee
    the refugee​


    I know it's awful but with some tunes to it at least it gets slightly less awfully.
     
  2. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    This is the right place. yay

    It doesn't suck, but continue to let us know if it is a song or a poem.

    This would go good with country music beat or a marlyn manson type beat. lol
     
  3. disoriented

    disoriented Member

    Well this is a song but I'm gonna give pure poetry a try later. Maybe music to it makes it more just, I don't know. Anyway, I'm just a novice so hopefully I'll improve.

    When I play it on guitar it's more of indie pop, indie rock than anything else I'd say :)

    Oh, thanks for the criticism btw
     
  4. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    That wasn't criticism. i didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry :(
     
  5. disoriented

    disoriented Member

    Oh no you got me wrong, I wasn't trying to be ironic. I appreciate any kind of criticism (both good and bad criticism) people are willing to give me :) So let me have it.

    And since I'm trying to get better at songwriting (and also since English is my second language) I basically want people remark on everything they think is bad with the lyrics.
     
  6. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Your English is pretty good.
     
  7. disoriented

    disoriented Member

    Thank you. Hopefully it is quite good since I'm leaving everything in a few weeks and heading abroad to live, planning to never go back. That's what the song is about aswell. Sorry I digress. But thank you for your feedback.
     
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