Stop the world, I'd like to get off, please.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by LilDarling, Apr 20, 2008.

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  1. LilDarling

    LilDarling Member

    Yeah. It's not like usual. Usually, when I have a moment or day or week of being completely suicidal, it's like, I'm really sad... just way, way, depressed... but this time, it's different...

    It's like... I've felt completely numb for the last few days. Things that used to make me smile no matter what haven't done anything... it feels like I was supposed to die last week, and these last few days are just spillover... I feel completely empty, as if there's absolutely nothing left.

    But I don't feel... unrealistically depressed, either. I mean, it's not like I'm sobbing right now... it's just, I feel so numb. I mean, yes, I feel awful, but it doesn't really seem to matter. I don't feel like I have anything to live for anymore... and what I used to want to live for doesn't really seem worth it...

    All the meds in my house are locked up, but I might just gather the strength to walk accross the block to go buy a bottle of Asprin... there doesn't seem to be a point anymore...
     
  2. sophie_b

    sophie_b Well-Known Member

    think of a happy thought a time when you were so happy it totaly consumed you and focus on that for a while...
    anything is possible, and it is most definatetly possible to be that happy again!!
    stay strong, you can beat this, i dont know you but i believe in you!
    life is what you make it,
    if you want your life to be happier... ......make it happy!
    if you want your life to mean more........ make it mean more!
    go for it and stay strong and have faith even when you're at the end of ur teather... have faith!
    x
     
  3. Laus

    Laus Member

    Darling, I know it's hard and I can relate. What you are experiencing is a common side effect of depression called Anhedonia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia I have felt (and still feel) very numb. I can't laugh, smile or enjoy anything in life. It's hard but you have to keep on fighting it. Keep on looking for and dwelling on the things that might make you happy. It might not work straight away but you will notice a difference down the line. Are you taking medication? Antidepressants can often numb a person's emotions. It is supposed to level your mood levels out but it tends to target both ends of the spectrum - sorrow and joy. The state in between can be worse than the former, especially when you can't see a way out.

    sophine b, I know you are trying to help but doing those things when you have clinical depression is easier said than done. You can't always control depression, especially when it robs you of your everyday emotions. I believe in you too Darling and I know you can pull through this. Get through tonight and see how you feel in the morning. You may not feel much difference but it's always a good idea to give yourself a break. Don't make any rash decisions and please don't do anything to harm yourself. Suicide may seem like your only way out but, as the saying goes, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".

    Lots of hugs and understanding,

    Laus
     
  4. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    I've had a few times when I've felt like this. It's a horrible feeling, not horrible like "Oh my god this is so awful please stop it!". It's more of a hopeless kind of nothingness. These times, for me, have always occurred the day after emotionally exerting myself. Trust me, it will get better. In this state, thats all you have to hold on to. The fact that you will be able to feel again. That your senses will be alive, and you'll feel better than you've ever felt before.

    Trust me.
     
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