Stopping the pain!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by oldenglish, Sep 26, 2013.

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  1. oldenglish

    oldenglish Member

    I have had enough of the pain in my life both physical and mental pain...mental pain is more like mental cruelty.. voices telling me better off dead which I have fought until no fight left in me...
    Been to my doctors today got my prescriptions, went to chemist got my tablets for my many problems so now just have to take them. This is the only way I can see of getting peace and pain free..
    I feel such a waste of good oxygen and peoples time...
    I am sorry I don't even know if I am supposed to be here...or why I am writing this I should just get on with it!
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    No, please don't get on with it. It's okay that you're here and that you posted; you're not wasting anyone's time. Here and listening if you feel like talking.
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am here also if you feel like talking more. I do not think you are a waste of time. Not at all. I am really glad you got the prescription and tablets. I have known many good people who hear the same kinds of voices. The voices always have one thing in common. They tell lies. they tell the people terrible lies. But the people are good people. And they too are exhaused from trying to manage it all. So you are not alone with this. Other good people have it also.

    Please hang on. You deserve many good things. Even though thats the last thing the voices would ever want you to know. I hope the new tablets bring some kind of relief for you. But please stay safe.
     
  4. oldenglish

    oldenglish Member

    Thank you, it means a great deal to know some people might understand me and yes the voices are angry with me very angry that I joined this forum. I am finding life difficult right now sorry..
    Thank you again for replying,
    take care
     
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm guessing the voices don't want you to reach out for help or support? They're wrong though, it's good you joined here. It's okay to reach out for support.
     
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    yes, I second what WildCherry wrote. Which means you did great joining here. I know you are finding life difficult right now. Those voices, angry with you for making good decisions to help yourself. Like getting the tablets and joining here. Just know that you already have 2 people here who care. And likely there are more people reading and caring. But they never post here. They just read. Please remember not to believe those voices. Even though I know that is hard.

    Some people find it helpful to sing. Out loud, even if it is in a soft voice. Music in the background. Sometimes if possible playing the music loudly. And singing. I do not know if this will help. But maybe its worth trying. Just know you are cared about here. And try try try to remember that those voices lie. I know its very hard though. I do know. Has your doctor recommended any help other than tablets? And when do you go back to see your doctor again? I am sending a safe :hug: and hope thats okay with you.
     
  7. oldenglish

    oldenglish Member

    Thanks again, I have been refered to the community mental health teamI had an assessment where I was asked questions I found difficult to say the answers, like do I know how I would end my life etc... voices started as laughing whenI had a Penectomy...that was when my life went downbank......there is far too many issues sorry....
    take care
     
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't need to apologize. :hug: Just letting you know I care and am listening if you want to talk. I know the voices probably say some pretty awful things to you, but the things they say aren't true.
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Again, I totally agree with what WildCherry said. All of what she said
     
  10. oldenglish

    oldenglish Member

    The voices have ground me down I feel so empty and really see no point in life especially this life...
    I wish I had not woke up this morning, I have started a regime that will hopefully conclude in silencing the voices and removing the physical pain I have every minute of every day.
    I wish I was strong enough to go on indefinitely but I know I am not...
    I have had 2 near death experiences and I think I will know when I am going which is good as dont like surprises...
    One particular voice has a habit of saying a eulogy about me, they seem to know what buttons to press and I cant fight them anymore, I am starting to get tired now.
    Thank you for your kind words and I am sorry
    take care martin
     
  11. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hello.
    you're very brave and strong. and this sounds such a battle for you and you haven't given up yet, don't give up!
     
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am so sorry the voices are doing this to you. Is there any way you can go to emergency? Maybe they can help you. I know that a combination of medications really can help a lot. But finding the right doctor to give the right combination of meditions is not easy. Has to be a specialist who knows what they are doing. Do you think you can go to emergency and tell them whats wrong and that you need better medications?
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I agree completely with Flowers. I know you're tired and worn down, but you matter and your life is worth fighting for. I also know we can't drown out the voices, but we can be honest with you and let you know we care, that you're not fighting alone. Please lean on us, let us try to help you through.
     
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