And this just another reminder of how much I have failed. I got a call on my work voicemail from the legal department of a collection agency. We had dealings with them last year and if it werent for us filing Chapter 13 BK...I dont know what we would have done. We can't convert that bankruptcy into a Chapter 7 (where are your debts are erased) until Fall 2012. In the meantime, these guys are gonna come after us hard. And I as stated in a previous thread we are having a hard enough time just putting food on the table atm. Add to that, I was out just now on lunch break, took my car over to the body shop to make arrangments for the repair after the jerk hit me on Monday when I heard terrible scraping noises from the rotors of my brakes. That is coming from the front drivers side wheel. I was hit on the back passenger side so I know it cant be from the accident. So my car will once again need brake work done, and we wont be able to do that either. Good news is that I will get a rental car tonight. But when I get my car back, it willbe a matter of days, weeks before the brakes are shot. Once my car goes, there goes my job, there goes my housing, there goes everything. All I am thinking about now, is what I can do to end my pain. How to end all of this crap once and for all. i have struggled for so very long. I have tried and tried and tried and tried, and I cant try anymore. I just cant. So...I will give it a couple of days while my car is repaired from the accident to see if God has any miracles left for me. In the meantime, I am now in planning mode to make an attempt. A guy in a neighboring town was successful last week. So was a woman, although she took out her kids in the process, and I would never do that. But it can be done...I just have to get the right method and a moments courage. I have failed all of my life....at least this might be one thing I can do right.