My abilities and what I do to try and improve them and myself don't mean anything because there will always be other people who drag me down. We've gone from a society that embraced the competition to be the best, to a society that if you can't be the best then let's all just be average. People wonder why I get so pissed when I play online games. The reason is that they are exactly like how my life goes. I have above average abilities in the first place and every once and awhile things just click and I do extraordinary, but because I am dependent on other teammates to ultimately win, no matter how well I do, how much I prepare myself or how hard I work, I still end up losing most of the time and get zero recognition for my abilities. I'm constantly dragged down by others. And I'm not good just because I'm lucky and was born that way. I was born with a slight advantage but I've also done the work to make sure I'm fully prepared. In games I look up how to play a game mode before I play it and I also check basic strategy. I also know how to play my role and sit back if I'm not good enough to lead or be out front. This seems to be completely lacking in most people anymore. There is an inherent entitlement that is amplified in gaming, that just because they have the game, they have zero responsibility to give a shit about what they are doing to any other player, as long as they are having fun. It's the same in real life. People just do whatever they want without a basic grasp of how they actually impact others. Add in our idiotic drive to make everyone well rounded and equal and human society is a pile of shit because we embraced the "participation" lifestyle. That as long as you try, that's good enough. WELL IT'S FUCKING NOT. Sure everyone should be able to give things a try and doing your best is all that one should expect. But the fact is that we aren't all good at everything. I am brilliant at some things and utterly suck at others. The difference with me is that I then don't keep punishing others by continuing to participate in something I suck at. It's not a matter of if I keep practicing I'll get better. It's a matter of, I just shouldn't do that one thing. Which is fine because I don't enjoy being bad at something. I'm just so tired of the social game. I've never been good at it and it's left me with a horrible life of being alone, hopeless and completely stuck. I've lost the little patience I used to have and snap on the shear amount of stupidity that surrounds me.