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Story time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xwritethisdown, Aug 21, 2006.

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  1. xwritethisdown

    xwritethisdown New Member

    Something I've been thinking a lot about lately, perhaps despair is relative. I know that I've had a lot of unfortunate and unfair happenings in my life. I also know that there are people who have had it a lot worse, and people who have had it a lot easier than me. But despair is in all of us. It's like a gas that expands and fills the mind, until you can't see anything else.

    My mother died when I was 15 of cancer. I'm overweight, hyperactive, and depressed. I feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone. I never seem to come first. But then I look at all that I do have, and it doesn't make me feel any better. And then I feel selfish. I don't want to blame my problems on-well-my problems.

    I have everything I need to kill myself, you know. I have the plan, the time, the place, and the fury. But I don't think I'll do it. No one knows I feel this way, as I'm one of those people who lies to their therapist. I take medication that doesn't work. I know what it takes to be happy, but I don't seem to want to be happy.

    Sigmund Freud had a theory that inside of everyone exists a 'suicide impulse', which means that we all desire to return to the state of perfect stillness that we experienced before birth. Does anyone else hear truth in that?
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    Yeah i see the truth in it.

    You should really talk to your therapist about everything, they could really help with some stuff. If you do, whos going to know? there not going to go and tell everyone.

    Its a really good idea to talk to them about, good luck and take care, Ally x
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I think their could some truth in it, maybe we all have that desire in us but someone people have that desire stronger than others, bur sadly some peoples desires over take them and they fulfill that desire. These desires are the something that is in all of us, it grows and takes over you.

    I think you should really talk to someone bout how your feeling, you have nothing to lose by telling your therapist, their trained with this and they can help. And i really would have a word with your doctor about the medication, if you take medication that doesn't work it will make you feel worse, so please have a word and you can try something else that will help.

    Take care

    Vikki x
  4. aphelion

    aphelion Guest

    Never heard that before, but it sounds pretty true to me.
    "the state of perfect stillness", that would be so great!
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