I did my attempt in 2007 after a shocks from my ex-husband and ex-bf. I took a lot of pills with a bottle of wine. Was found by police and sent to hospital. Stayed in ICU for four days and was let go home. The reason for the attempt was there were too many shocks in my life, and the physical pain as well as the psychological pain were too great to take. I have many friends and supportive family, but they didn't know understand and could not really help from psychological side. I didn't want to trouble them because every family had their own problems. After that I had been trying very hard to recover, and yet almost recover and my ex-bf broke up with me. So, I am depressed again, but the difference is I know I am depressed, what cuased the depression, but I have no control of my body and mind, I am sober, but powerless to do anything to change it. My depression was way back since I was nine and had bad headache. There were three daughters in my family. Don't know why, I was the one no one liked. Was slightly abused physically, but heavily abused mentally by my dad. My mom didn't correct his behaviour. I was too young to defend myself and didn't know that I was depressed. And no one in the family paid any attention to me. I was happilly married for 6 years and my ex brought me a shock. I was lucky nothing happened to my organs from the attempt except for terrible headache when it rains. (little warning: attempt is not worthy, if you survive, you might suffer more physical pain than before) All my life, I had been seeking love and protection from mean because I felt there was a hole, but was hurted by them. Now I understand that I cannot go back to change the hisotry. And my parents tried very hard to be good. Unfortunately they were human, and made mistakes without knowing. For my parents, there was no hole. But I expreienced it. I am not angry or hate them anymore. The problems nows are that depression causes my physical immobilization, and the physical down drags my mental down. A very bad cycle. I have been trying very hard to build up my physical, then mentally I cannot take it. So depressed again. I guess just have to try all kinds of different ways to deal with it.