Strained Relationships

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dahry, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. dahry

    dahry Member

    Sometimes, I feel as if my mother takes me for granted at times. I mean, sure she expresses every now and then that she cares for me, but it sometimes feels as if she only does it because my father wills it to happen. My father is a family-oriented man (sometimes it pisses me off to no end but what can I say? I'm better off) and he believes that I should suck up to my mother. She's there physically, but I feel like she's not there for me mentally, like she stopped caring about me right before I hit my teen years.

    But anyways, let's shimmy down to the reason and the what the problem is.

    Has there been anything wrong with photographing or socializing at a party? Well, is there a problem with that? Apparently taking pictures of people is deemed embarrassing and socializing isn't what I'm supposed to be doing when attending a family friend's birthday/graduation party.

    Now this is where the problems starts to rear its' ugly head. My mother called my father as soon as we got home to ask what happened at the party (she was at work) and they exchanged a couple words here and there. But when I retreated back to my room, this was when my father actually started to tell my mother what I had 'done' at the party.

    Of course, my brother delivered the phone to me and my mother starts to talk to me in a very strained voice. This is how the conversation basically goes and please take note that I don't say much because I don't like escalating the problem.

    Mom: Didn't I tell you that you were no photographer? That you have no right to take pictures of people?

    Me: Yes.

    Mom: I'm telling you that because you were EMBARRASSING yourself.

    Me: ....

    Mom: You think that you can do these things because you don't care about what the world has to say about you.

    Me: Mhm.

    - And this is where her statements really start to get on my nerves -

    Mom: I'm warning you Dahry. I'm not like other mothers, I won't tolerate this sort of behavior. I won't hesitate to hurt you.

    - Since she said this in a different language, the precise meaning crossed the lines of: "I'm not like other mothers, I will kill you."

    Me: WHAT? So just because I take pictures of other people at a party, you'll kill me? You'll kill me for something as little and small like that?

    Mom: That's not what I said.

    Me: ...

    Mom: There's a difference from -said word- from killing. (Like I said, she spoke in a different language, which meant I don't know the right English word for that specific word)

    And after that, I felt a surge of hatred - no, that's too harsh, a surge of utter dislike towards my mother that night, because that triggered another hate conversation that we had in the past.

    But let's shorten it up.

    I brought a camera to school. I lost it/had it stolen. Came home, waited a day before telling them that I brought it to school and had it taken. Sat through my mother yelling at me and telling me that I was stupid for doing that. And here's the climax point:

    "If I knew that you were going to cause me this much trouble, I would've killed you when you were a baby."

    Yeppp. Came out of my own mother's mouth. Though it's not much, I felt as if it showed how much she cared about materialistic things rather than me. *shrugs shoulders*

    What's your insight?
  2. Angel_Dawn

    Angel_Dawn Well-Known Member

    I went through something similar with my mother, I don't care to discuss it on the forum, but if you wanna talk pm me. Good Luck, I am here for u.

  3. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug: that's gotta blow... i guess.. well i don't really have any advice.

    just wanted to let you know, i'm here for you, so if you ever need to talk, you can drop me a PM love.

    I'll always listen and help best i can!

  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I can't imagine ever saying something like that to my children so I can't offer any insight into what she is thinking. I don't know what you do when you socialize or what your pictures are of so I cannot comment there either. Does she have a specific complaint about what you are doing? How does she feel you are embarrassing yourself by taking pictures? What are you doing when you socialize?
  5. dahry

    dahry Member

    @ AngelDawn;

    Kay. I'll be talking to you in messages then. :]

    @ innocencexisxlove;

    Okay then. I'll be talk to you in messages then, too. :)

    @ gentlelady;

    Well, when I socialize, I just talk. I mean, there's nothing that I do, if I hang out with guys, I do the same thing I do with my girl friends. I just sit there and say a couple words here and there, especially if I have my parent's camera (or any camera) with me. I don't know what else to do than say a couple things here and there, joke and laugh at the silly things that my friends do. Sometimes I feel shy so I just sit there and play around with my camera until I feel comfortable with those kids. But at this time I was hanging out with my friends, they wanted me to record them/take pictures of them and I just did that.

    Afterwards, when my dad came outside to "retrieve" me, I went on inside and walked around the room. My cousins came and soon the dancing part came into view. I liked a bunch of the dance moves I saw and at the time I thought that maybe I could record them and my friend and I could learn how to do those dance moves over time. Then, I just kept on recording because they're dance moves were so intense for their age. :p

    I knew and didn't know them, but they didn't seem to complain when they saw me with a camera in my hand. So, in doing that - I thought that it was okay that I could record them/take pictures. But even though they didn't say anything, do you think I've done something wrong by taking pictures/videos? ://

    Well, my mother just said that:

    "You're no photographer, so stop acting like it."

    I guess her main complaint is that I take pictures of what I like and talk in a way where I sound as if I'm trying to be a photographer (complaining about the lighting, outfits, angles, etc)