Strange place

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Leiaha, Jul 14, 2009.

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  1. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I'm in a strange place just now and I know from experience that this is likely to suddenly change at some point.
    I give up, I just can't be bothered to do anything. It's quite odd because I just don't want to even make a slight effort or attempt to do a thing. I just don't care about anyone or anything. I dont even feel guilty about this, a first ever for me who feels guilty about everything! I don't even want any help anymore because I know I won't get it.
    I am just so totally empty.......... I feel very little except suicidal. There is nothing more I can do, I give in to my suicidal plans.
    Like I said, it's a strange place :unsure:
  2. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey Lea,

    I'm so sorry you're feeling so low atm! Is there any particular reason for you feeling this way or is it a combination of things over time? I know you're saying you don't want help, and i believe you feel that way but the fact that you're posting means that somewhere, however small part of you, still wants to hold on and try.

    You said that this is bound to suddenly change at some point, so why not wait it out? Have you been telling you pdoc about this?

    Take care !

  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Don't give up Lea. You know you have friends here for you. Keep letting us know how you are feeling.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey i hope you can hang on has anything with your medication changed increase or decrease sometimes this can put us in a mood of not feeling anything. People really care for you here and wouldn't want anything to happen to you. I too just give up feeling because the pain goes away then. I hope you can reach out here to your friends and let them help you Hang in okay
  5. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I don't know. I was going to try to talk to the crisis team today about it but, they didn't turn up. This has now set me thinking that even they don't want to know now :cry:
    2 weeks ago I set todays date as the day I would commit suicide, Is the crisis team not turning up or even calling me a sign I'm doing the right thing?That's how it seems to me. I told them yesterday that I felt very suicidal and today they don't turn up. Now I unexpectedly have the house to myself for 2 days, I didn't know this when I set the date, only found out 3 hours ago.
    Everything seems to be falling into place to make it perfect to go ahead. :cry2:
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya hun, have you called them today? I know they're supposed to get in touch with you, but sometimes these teams, like everybody sometimes, gets caught in something else and with no chance to do everything they're supposed to do. Do you think it might be an idea to call and ask...?

    Big hugs,
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    If we look for it, we can find signs in almost everything. Although it seems like things are falling into place I don't believe it is a sign for you to do anything. Please don't hesitate to call for help if you need it. I can't answer why the crisis team did not show up if they were scheduled to. It isn't because they don't want to know. Don't give up. :hug:
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sis,
    Don't give in to those thoughts.. You aren't ment to end it.. That is the depression talking..Or should I say lying to you..You have alot of friends here so lean on us.. In the mean time make the call and find out what happened..The crisis team may have gotten hung up with someone else or maybe a member didn't show up for work today.. They should have at least called you.. Take the step and call them..Take Care Hun, Love You, Bro
  9. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    It DOES seem like fate making sure it happens. The crisis team knew I was suicidal and they stayed away......... again maybe making sure it happens. I'm not calling them as I feel they don't want to talk to me. They are supposed to come round twice a day at the moment and today they haven't been once nor have they called instead.
    It seems strange that I set this date 2 weeks ago and today is the day that has turned out as the perfect opportunity. :cry:
    It almost feels like I am obligated to carry through :sad:
  10. CPessimist

    CPessimist Well-Known Member

    :( don't do it bro
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    No your not ment to do it.. You haven't even had the oppurtunity yet to see your new grandbaby..Just think of the joy you will have once she/he is born.. Sis you have a good head on your shoulders and you already know how much depression can lie to you..Don't let it drag you down to that darkplace..Keep looking at the light of the day..I still think you should call the crisis team and find out hwat happened..I'm sure they didn't just ditch you..There has to be a reason they didn't show up..You have one certanty in life and that is you have friends here who you can lean on..Stay with us o.k.!!!
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey I hope you doing better today Give the crisis team anothr chance give them a call and ask them what happened. They care we care here Call your GP or therapist reach out okay your worth it. Please stay here with us
  13. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I did and they said they are busy today with one member of staff off sick so they won't see me till tomorrow lunch time......... they are supposed to visit twice a day still cos I asked her if this was the case!! :) I'm right aren't I? they don't want to help me. :cry:
  14. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Well today is the day, goodbye all, take care of each other and yourselves.

    See ya!!

    Lea :grouphug:
  15. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    Please don't do this babe.

    Talk to us.

    Claire xx
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