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Stress - I don't seem it show it like other people

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by downunder, Jul 5, 2008.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Where I work I sit opposite a stress head. When he is stressed he yells, and swears. He also picks at his fingers. The other guy I work opposite too, when he is stressed he crys, then he goes berserk asking lots of answers to questions that he could easily find out for himself. Then if I don't give him the answer or the wrong answer he swears at me. He has been doing the job for 7 years whereas I have been in there just over a year.

    At work when I am stressed I keep it all inside. I also make jokes about it and try and see the funny side. Then if it still goes on the next day I might goe into tears.

    The counsellor I used to see told me that there is an after hours number I can ring if I want to talk about things. But if I am stressed and ring the number, I don't think I will sound stressed and they will think I am wasting their time. I rang this guy at work once and told him I felt like jumping off the roof, but in the same conversation I can be laughing etc.

    Whilst at the counsellors I broke down into tears but then 20 minutes later was laughing.

    I know when I am stressed as I find myself pigging out on junk food and driving around in my car aimlessly. Or I find myself searching the internet for suicide plans, or updating suicide note I have on the computer at work.

    But at work they would never know to look at me that I am doing that.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good Morning,
    Have you tried to talk to anyone else? It sounds like your councelir doesn't have a very good handle on your problems. Is it possible to switch to another one?
    I told a few other people to write down everything that is happening with you. It is important that you do this because everyone has a tendacy to forget some of them while you are with a therapist because they kind of cut you off at times asking other questions.
    Have you tried the crisis hot line? There is usually someone there 24/7. You can also PM me because i am up all deifferent times of the day and night. I don't sleep straight thru. I manage a couple of hours each time. The sleep meds I am on only help me fall asleep they don't keep me asleep.
    Speaking of meds are you on any? Do you take them faithfully? They don't work if you don't take them. If you aren't then you need to see a doc and let him read your list and he will determin if he should put you on them. Keep this in mind, It can take up to six weeks for them to work. Then he needs to reevaluate the dosage. Also there can be combo of meds before they find what works for you. My doc has me on five different meds at once. Then my medical doctor has me on five more meds. I'm a walking drug store.
    I hope you find the help you need! remember we are here for you so don't think you are alone...:chopper:...
  3. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    Hi downunder,

    I used to be in a similar type of working situation as you - a high stress environment where people curse worse than sailors - and co-workers who cope by lashing out in anger (which was usually directed at me, because I was 'too diplomatic' with our clients). Can I ask what field you work in? (I was in electrical contracting with a multi-million dollar firm, one mistake and I'd lose the company millions of dollars)

    Something that alleviated a lot of my stress was talking with the bosses about all the stress in the office and suggesting team building exercises (mandatory, so the stress-heads had to attend). Also, a good thing to relieve tension in the office is to start celebrating monthly birthdays - get cake for everyone - this builds some camaraderie. Another thing, that might work, is starting a conversation with your coworkers starting with "I feel... when you..." - I know it's overused, but it works in a lot of cases.

    I know what you mean about the laughing and crying - recently I've been the same way - also with the suicidal thinking/planning - and joking to relieve some of the tensions that build up. There are a lot of places to work - so please don't make a decision to commit suicide over a job, no job is worth your life.

    If you need to vent about work or anything else feel free to PM or IM me.
  4. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Sorry I can't tell you the line of work that I am in, I will give you a hint though, it is with the government, and male dominated work place.

    I am not on medication because I have read it halts the grieving process. When I go back on full duties I have to be fully 100% alert. Where I am, you would never tell someone that you go to counselling or the psychiatrist because of the stigma attached and even more stigma to medication.

    But I am trying to say in my post that my stress is not obvious like other peoples. I feel like I am the sanest person in this office where I am working. Once I said to one guy, I think I will miss my counselling appointment and you can go instead.

    Once my counsellor was away for a couple of weeks and she made me see someone else, and I didn;t really want to see this guy, so I emailed him a photo of my boss, and asked if he could see him instead!! :)) My boss knew about it and had a laugh as well. When my boss is good he is very good but when he is bad he is horrid. Don't know how his wife puts up with him.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good Morning Downunder,
    If you don't want to take meds that is understanable. I'm sure with having a high security office they make you take pee tests. If you were on meds it would show, so I agree it may not be right for you. On the other hand is your job so important to you that you would sacrifice your health.
    If your not going to take meds then please at least talk with a therapist. She/he can teach you coping skills to use to help fight off depression. She /he can also teach you about cognitive distortions. The more you know The easier your battle will be. I wish you well and let us know if you are doing o.k. or if you need to PM someone to give an ear to listen to..:chopper:..
  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Thanx, no they don't do pee tests where I work.

    My counsellor only really just listened to me and gave insight and sometimes intervened at work on my behalf to tell them to lay off. Didn't really give me coping skills other than to ring the after hours number which I never rang.

    My birthday in 3 hours. Thanx for your concern.
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