Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wonderment, May 5, 2016.

  1. Wonderment

    Wonderment Member

    I'm so stressed out.

    I feel trapped on all sides, and every move I make just fucks up my life even more.

    I can't do anything. I've lost all motivation to do anything at all.

    I want so badly to just end it all, to just be at peace, even if it means damning everyone I know to a life of grief.

    I'm never going to change. I've been like this for years and it always comes back to feeling this way, even if it was o.k. temporarily.
    lightning05 likes this.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you feel like this

    What is going on that you feel is not going your way? What have you done to try to improve the situation?
    Could you get some help? Therapy, counseling? Meds?

    Please don't hurt yourself. You deserve better than to hurt yourself
  3. Wonderment

    Wonderment Member

    I don't want to work for the rest of my life. I don't have the motivation to do anything. Going to school, going to work. I barely find games fun anymore, how could I stand doing anything productive?

    There's nothing I can do to improve the situation. I've tried counseling and medication, but it doesn't help. I'm not going to a therapist again.

    The last time I told my family what was going on, nothing really changed. I'm still unmotivated. Someone could serve me up everything on a platter, and I still wouldn't have the motivation to move my hand to take it.

    They tried to help me, and it's been a while since then, but nothing has changed.

    If I were to tell them that I'm suicidal again, it would be embarrassing because I wouldn't change regardless.

    I might as well just save myself the effort.

    I don't see the point in life.
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Would it help if you were doing something you actually liked? Do you have a dream job or study?
  5. Wonderment

    Wonderment Member

    I don't have a dream job, unless that job was to randomly win the lottery and be a lazy p.o.s. for the rest of my life.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi wonderment, I feel similar, i feel lazy and unmotivated sometimes and really worry about my future but things can change, there is no hope when you are gone obviously so hold onto the bit of hope you have now. Please be kinder to yourself, you're not a piece of s***. You're not. What games do you enjoy playing? Do you have any friends, ever have fun with them?
  7. Wonderment

    Wonderment Member

    I like a few online games, but I don't have any friends.

    I pretty much keep to myself all the time. I'm afraid to make friends, not that I could anyways, because I'm afraid to hurt them if I do end up catching the bus.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Don't be afraid to make friends, just be careful about it and don't trust easily. I've recently started being friends with an old friend recently and we got on okay :) It's good to have someone who understands and listens and likewise. Do you play the online games a lot?
  9. Wonderment

    Wonderment Member

    I'm 20.

    I also isolate myself a lot because I don't feel like doing anything. Even if I had friends I probably wouldn't do anything with them.

    I haven't been playing games much lately, just sleeping in.