Stressed beyond words

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by dying_inside, Oct 24, 2014.

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  1. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    This whole thing with my family and especially my dad - CONTINUOUS DAILY fighting about the cats (that i love more than anything else and are my reason for living), may seem silly but its causing me lots of stress, hurt feelings and exasperation.

    to the point im seriously considering getting drunk and self harming in front of them or even killing myself just to make them SEE what they are doing to me. or spare myself the pain of living as i am now.

    my mom fought her battle for moving for years and this year she finally won. i am shattered beyond words. she stepped on me and destroyed my world.

    my dad has been fighting his battle to get rid of the cats and he is getting closer and closer. im sick of giving in, especially when the living beings i love the most will suffer because of him. he says "either the cats or me" and i would choose the cats. now im tempted to say "if you throw out the cats i'll throw out myself too".

    he does have his reasons, my mom did too, but its too much for me. i know this could seem all trivial but its all i got and they are tearing it all apart. i hate them and i cant and dont want to go through this. i just want to do it.

    i dont know how anyone could help, but please, some help?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If the animals are causing so much stress in your family then perhaps if you can move out into a small apartment of you own if you are of age if not then you need to really step up and look at how you can decrease the stress with your cats what is it that is causing so much turmoil over them.
    Perhaps you can find a friend to take you cats for you that way you can still visit with them not have to worry about them. Parents do live under so much stress and i am sure they do not want to harm you talk with them leave them a note a letter about how you are feeling ok quietly talk with them when everyone has settled down some
  3. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    Thanks. i did talk with my mom who wasnt at home and im a bit calmer now. i seriously considered going living in the yard with the cats or running from home. i know it sounds crazy but thats the point i am getting to. anyway, she agrees with me. my dad is the problem. and more or less directly my brother too. thats why its so complicated. my dad keeps yelling about these cats every day to me and to my mom. im SO sick of it. no, of HIM. even though he sometimes seems capable of being kind with the cats. but he never, never wanted them. at the old home it was different and easier for him to accept them.

    i have considered finding my own place (and i cant afford it), but these cats are not indoor cats only, so it would be hard to force them into an apartment (mine or anyone else's). it would hurt them as it would hurt them throwing them outside and not letting them in (which is what my dad wants), especially now with winter coming. maybe the cats would eventually adjust, but it hurts ME having to throw them out. to give in once more. just for my dad's mission sake. after all the efforts we (I) made to help them adjust to the new house now kicking them out too seems cruel to me. especially for one of them who has been an angel and is the one who mostly desires to stay inside.

    i'd accept a compromise, 2 out and one in, at least for the night, but he wont reason, he wont compromise. he'll keep nagging until he'll have it his way. he has already closed in on. but this time im not giving in. im not. if i have to die because of this i'll die. i have nothing else to live for anyway.
    thanks for talking with me. really.
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    What is it about the cats that is causing the issue? Are they damaging the furniture, smelling, or getting into place they should not be? Cab they be kept in you room or a part of the house when they are inside ? I am assuming something has gotten him so riled about the cats so perhaps part of the solution is to address the issue that the cats are doing something that he has an issue with. Things like shedding and litter can be dealt with by putting more effort into their care. If it is allergies or something like that then that is a different issue. Regardless, running away or harming yourself does not help your pets and still leaves them homeless.
  5. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    The cats are angels. none of them use the litter inside (they did for a short period of time when we moved but not anymore). as for eating they could easily eat outside. thats not an issue.

    one doesnt even come inside, so she wouldnt be a problem. the other comes in only sometimes to eat or for a while to get warmer and then she ASKS to get out again. maybe with colder themperature she would like to stay inside some more but SHE asks to get outside after a little while. why is he complaining for a few minutes she gets in???? and the last one is the one who would like to stay inside more. but he is an angel. he doesnt do any damage. he doesnt meow. he doesnt steal food. he sometimes jumps on a chair but doesnt ruin it and when you tell him to go down he goes. he stays still all day sleeping in my room not bothering anyone and he listens and obeys like a dog. he couldnt be better than he is.

    firstly he was kicked out from upstairs, then he was kicked out from the kitchen and now he is being kicked out form the house. my dad just doesnt want him inside at all. i find it cruel to first let him in and then kick him out with no cat's fault.

    my dad is using my brother's allergy as an excuse to kick the cats out. im not saying my brother isnt allergic, but my dad is just on a mission to have the cats out. before the move he was complaining about the other cat because my mom doted on her. my dad is admittedly jealous of the cats! thats the real reason it all started. now things have changed but it has become his mission. to get rid of them. out of his sight. im sure he thinks his happiness depends on this. no talking will change his mind.

    and you're right, running away or SHing wont help the pets, but at least i feel like i would be doing something to show how much this whole thing is hurting me and maybe force him to get to a compromise or i'll temporary feel better or i'll run away from this situation. i really cant take it anymore.
    thanks for your help
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