Stressed, threatened and very sad...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ASadDaddy, Jun 13, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ASadDaddy

    ASadDaddy New Member

    Hello...
    Life is hard. I have been successful, but lately a complete failure and embarrassment. I love amazing young kids that will be fine whether I live or die. I am currently going through a divorce...it's hard. My in-laws are extremely wealthy and have threatened my financial and parenting future. I am a good person but have done some things which I am not proud of. My best friend, whom I helped recover from a heroin addiction is also threatening my future. I really want to disappear. I am lonely,scared, depressed and feel betrayed. I am very generous and am just about read to snap.

    This is so hard, my children are so amazing and we are close...but how can I be a good father if I am shamed severely?

    I always thought suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem...I just feel sad. Really sad, ashamed and alone....
    My kids are young enough to recover and enjoy their life with a new daddy.
     
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Hi there,
    You haven't said what it is you are ashamed and embarrassed about?
     
  3. ASadDaddy

    ASadDaddy New Member

    After my wife accused me of giving her an STD (impossible after 10 years of 100% monogamy)....a month later I got drunk and cheated. We had some difficult times. I tried to make it work....I really tried and struggled. Our business failed and we lost ALOT of money. I used some drugs for the first time....Not smart I know, but whatever...I did. We are getting divorced...and it is the best thing...I do not have a girlfriend...have no interest...I just love my kids. I have a great job that pays a ton....now my "Best Friend" wants to blow up my divorce and cause me to lose the time with my kids. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. My kids will be very wealthy with inheritance from their grandparents. I don't want to shame my family...my kids etc....I just want them to be awesome and remember their daddy in a good light. I hate my life....i hate me....
     
  4. fannin

    fannin Member

    You didn't say if the kids will stay with you, but I'm guessing that's the loss you fear. Kids are so damn resilient. What makes you think whatever you did won't ultimately be forgiven and filed away in time?
     
  5. ASadDaddy

    ASadDaddy New Member

    It might....but I am just totally exhausted, stressed out and tired. I think I am a good person, but maybe I am not. I really don't want to hurt anyone...I am very respectfull...i am very sad and very alone. I have awesome kids, but I think I am just a bad apple I guess.
     
  6. fannin

    fannin Member

    I'm guessing key qualities in those kids..their integrity and goodness..are products of your influence.

    Kids who won't reconcile with dad are rare.

    This time next month, you'll probably have already begun that.
     
  7. toofargone

    toofargone Account Closed

    I don't think you are a bad apple, I just think that you have gone through a bad time, and made some mistakes. It happens ~ to everyone at some point.

    But you can still pick up from all of this and go on and be something that you can be happy and proud of. And your kids are going to love you no matter what.

    As far as them just getting over your suicide and going on? Won't happen. It would be the same as saying if one of your kids committed suicide, you could just go on and have another kid to replace them. You can't replace a loved one, each one of us is a unique individual. And your kids would be devastated, and it might be that their own chance of suicide if things get tough for them would increase if they see that their dad thought it was a way out.

    So, please reconsider. Get help, get counseling, either with a therapist, or spiritual if that is your choice. Hang on for your kids, and get your life back.

    Wishing you the best!!
     
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with TooFarGone!! Your kids will need there dad especially when they start getting older..If you commit they will not understand...
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.