Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by flowerpot, Apr 20, 2015.

  1. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    I feel so stressed all of the time. I hoped things would get easier as I got older but I'm still much the same as I was in high school, struggling with my education. I struggle to find motivation & I'm awful with procrastination. I don't know how to fix this. Last year I finally bit the bullet & spoke to a counsellor because I feared things had gotten so bad that there was going to be consequences. I was trying to save myself from failure. It felt fake though. They always say if you're having problems don't wait till the end cause there's not a lot they can do. I worried she thought that I was lying, making excuses. Somehow talking about my stress out loud to a real person led me to the point of crying, which is crazy, because I rarely cry. I guess that showed the councillor I was genuinely upset. I think I've always had low self esteem & this makes me feel that I'm not worthy of seeking help. I'm uncomfortable talking about myself in person & being the focus of attention. This is probably why getting help has always been so hard. I have good intentions but I just suck at being good.

    My body clock is messed up. I took on doing an overnight shift one night/morning a week & naturally this affects the whole week now. People keep asking me if I ever sleep. I really need the shift to earn enough money to function, but it has messed up my ability to attend classes. But I know me, even if this wasn't the issue, there would be something else. I always make there be something.

    My financial position is stressful. I know it could be worse though & many others have it harder than me. It saddens me that life revolves around money whether we like it or not. You have to have money to stay alive & function. I hate having to worry about how I'm going to manage things.
  2. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I bet you're absolutely right that working the overnight shift is throwing off your whole system and making things worse. You might be suffering from shift work sleep disorder and need treatment for it. Here's a Wikipedia link that mentions some of the treatments, like bright light therapy and melatonin. It might even be worth going to a doctor about this.

    Struggling with finances day after day is very demoralizing, even for people who manage to make ends meet. The daily grind is very hard - working so hard and still not having enough to relax your attention for a moment on how you spend it. It takes a bit of the hero to keep going, I think.

    Totally understand about procrastination. I've suffered some serious life set backs because I procrastinate so badly. There are all kinds of self help guides to help people deal with this, although if you've got a walloping case of depression going on at the same time, it does complicate things. Anyway, my heart goes out to you while you cope with all this. Depression is a nasty illness and no matter what you feel, you do deserve to be treated for it and to feel better. You would not deny that care to someone else, why deny it to yourself?