Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by delicateshadow, Jun 30, 2007.

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  1. delicateshadow

    delicateshadow Antiquitie's Friend

    I'm stressed.

    As if dealing with recovery from depression and complex PTSD wasn't enough... Struggling to let go of my past and be here now... threatens that past sense of safety. Internalisations of abuse threaten me too. Its an ongoing struggle for safety and sanity.

    And then...

    My befriender [through Mind] just... vanished. She obviously had had enough of me, but didn't be open and honest. She just... disappeared.

    Work... either I'm snowed under with stuff to do, or nothing, like I'm not really needed.
    Its confusing. And frightening.

    My flatmates want me to move with them when they move to the new place. The sale is... hopefully happening.
    But it feels... upsetting and unsettling to be moving to a new unknown place after having been somewhere where you feel safe for 4 years. And of course the new flat isn't my choice..

    My flatmates have a baby. His mum is struggling with distress of her own regarding parenting issues. Aspects of her parenting style are triggering difficult memories and feelings in me. Sometimes I don't know how to react. I feel lost.

    I'm worried about an online friend.

    Is it any wonder that I am waking up early each morning, 3am, 4am... and so forth. This broken sleep is very draining. I get up more tired than when I went to bed.

    I'm taking Tuesday off work. Hopefully I can catch up on some sleep and rest then. Otherwise I am scared I will crumble.
  2. Girl

    Girl Guest

    You can't possibly know why she disappeared unless she comes back and tells you. Maybe she had a car accident and ended up in hospital. Maybe She has had a family emergency and had to go away, maybe abroad for something. Maybe she is having technology issues. Maybe she is ill, depressed, whatever, and can't cope with seeing or speaking to anyone. The reason for her disappearance could very easily not be related to you in the slightest. Try to rationalise the fact that it does not have to be to do with you. I know that comes from thinking patterns, etc, but really try to remind yourself that not everything is your fault, and does not even necessarily reflect you at all, it could be something unrelated at her end that is taking up her time.

    Any move is scary and unsettling so what you are feeling is fully expected. Your flatmates will also be feeling similar things too. so maybe try to talk to them about how they feel. Could you all try and come up with a plan to make you all feel safer? I have moved house loads recently and hated each move, but after one or two nights in the new place, with all your things, it will seem far more comfortable.

    It's ok to not know how to react. No one knows every second of every day how to react. Just try to recognise why you don't know how to react, and allow yourself to feel that confusion. Often after the confusion, things can seem clearer. If you are having therapy discuss with her about how you are feeling and she might help you with some coping strategies.

    Hang in there and keep fighting. You have clearly come through worse things than this, so you can come through this too. Remember that people are there if you need them.

    Take care of yourself.
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