I'm stressed. As if dealing with recovery from depression and complex PTSD wasn't enough... Struggling to let go of my past and be here now... threatens that past sense of safety. Internalisations of abuse threaten me too. Its an ongoing struggle for safety and sanity. And then... My befriender [through Mind] just... vanished. She obviously had had enough of me, but didn't be open and honest. She just... disappeared. Work... either I'm snowed under with stuff to do, or nothing, like I'm not really needed. Its confusing. And frightening. My flatmates want me to move with them when they move to the new place. The sale is... hopefully happening. But it feels... upsetting and unsettling to be moving to a new unknown place after having been somewhere where you feel safe for 4 years. And of course the new flat isn't my choice.. My flatmates have a baby. His mum is struggling with distress of her own regarding parenting issues. Aspects of her parenting style are triggering difficult memories and feelings in me. Sometimes I don't know how to react. I feel lost. I'm worried about an online friend. Is it any wonder that I am waking up early each morning, 3am, 4am... and so forth. This broken sleep is very draining. I get up more tired than when I went to bed. I'm taking Tuesday off work. Hopefully I can catch up on some sleep and rest then. Otherwise I am scared I will crumble.