Stressful encounters

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Skylar, Nov 17, 2015.

  1. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    So I was at the anatomy lab the other day. My old friends and I are in the same lab group so I see them all the time. In order to avoid any encounters with them I work in different desks but the other day I think all of them together came to the desk that I was working in. They were all giggly and laughing. I was stuck between people so I couldn't leave the table. I just waited for them to go away. My heart would beat so fast when I saw them but now I don't get like that. I just feel very very sad. I wish I didn't care this much. I am trying to get closer to other people I know but I was supposed to meet one friend today but she ditched me, and she probably won't make it up to me. So I am alone in the mall, sitting at Starbucks with my thoughts... my stress level is lower these days but I can't seem to get rid of my sadness. I have to fill the void they carved inside of me I guess, otherwise I'll just keep feeling empty.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Skylar, I am sorry you are feeling so sad and empty. What happened with these friends, was there a fall out or ye just grew apart? I hate when I see people sitting alone in restaurants etc... it saddens me to see them alone. 6 billion people and we may aswell be on the planet ourselves when we are anxious and alone. Big hugs to you! I hope you can make new friends. You deserve to. You are a nice person, remember that.
     
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  3. Jellyfish

    Jellyfish Active Member

    I cannot say it's the same as what you're feeling but i've been through something similar.
    All through both primary, secondary school and tafe i had many different groups of friends and when that friendship changes and you end up being strangers or a mockery to them it's always hard.
    I knew that as soon as school ended everyone would go their separate paths with the fake 'let's all keep in touch and remain friends' sort of bull.
    But somehow through that i became close to one of the girls that i never really talked to and that person is now my best friend.
    We've been overseas together and plan to move in together very soon.

    What i'm trying to say is, school/uni/tafe relationships are very very hard because, let's face it, most students are very obnoxious and senseless.
    But just hold on because there's always that one person that stands out from the fake relationships that form.
    I'm sure that someone who understands you will come around soon too.
    So whilst it may be painful and hard now, and whilst what i'm about to suggest is easier said than done,
    Please, just have hope.

    Xxooxxoo
     
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  4. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Hi Petal. The main story is I was in a group of friends. I stopped talking to one of them because he was closest to me but then he lost all interest in me and even though I told him about that he kept being a jerk. None of us tried to make up. After somewhile, he started group chats that I wasn't part of, that way they had many meetings without me. I felt super outsided by that. I told others in the group about it but noone seemed to care. The breaking point was, when we were at the library, studying for finals, two of them I got along with came up to me, said they were going to dinner with others in the group, but because he was a part of it they cannot invite me. I asked further and they literally said they were gonna have a meeting about me. ME. So the four of them went to this meeting, I didn't leave them just yet, the day after I wanted to check to see how they act towards me. They were pretty distant. That's how it ended. I was betrayed and abandoned like I was nothing. I think they came on purpose in the anatomy lab.
    There is more details to my story I'll tell them later in pm if you'd like.. It's been over 5 months, I am barely getting my shit together. Recovering is one hard process. I know the stress is pretty much gone because my eye isn't twitching anymore. But the sadness remains. And I don't mind doing things alone, I usually go shopping by myself anyways but I am at a vulnerable stage in my life and little things get to me because of that. But thank you Petal for your compliments, they are very well apreciated :)
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hun, that is really crappy. The way they treated you as if they were lost sheep and following their follower, i'm sure some of them feel bad about it no doubt but they won't show that. You are an incredible person, if that is how they treat people then you deserve better anyway. keep your head up high where it belongs. You will make new friends, friends come and go all the time. And you being such a nice and approachable and easy to talk person you will have no issues making new friends! Best of luck to you hun!! :)
     
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  6. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Hello Jellyfish.
    Welcome to the forum. I know the fakeness. I was very close to one of them. She was like I don't wanna lose anybody, I'm stuck between you and others, please hold on etc... But even her ended up being distant with me. She was the only reason I remained longer in that group. But her betrayal just made me give up. I see loners sometimes, but they are very sad too. I get sadder around sad people. So I get very uncomfortable around them. My issue with friendships is like a dead end lol.
    But I'm happy you found your bff :) I usually have a hard time making friends, but this year it is extra hard because of the depression, low self conifence and my sadness... I probably look down all time. My face probably don't look very friendly I guess.
     
  7. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    I know Petal thank you :) Maybe the reason I'm still not over it is that I never got any closure. Today's teens are weird. They never hold on to anything, they just let it go. Nothing matters to them or they show it like that. Well I wish they showed that they felt bad about it. It is also very annoying they are together all the time, walking around school like little ducklings.
     
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  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    ((big hugs)) to you. They say...school is the best time of your life. For me and a lot of others it is the worst time. It will pass, just keep that in mind pet :) I'm always here for you.
     
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  9. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Aahhh me too :) it will end eventually lol, at best chance I have 5 more years haha
     
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  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You will get through it, keep your head down in the books, study your ass off and you will have a good start on life that is what I wish someone told me when I was younger. Friends/boyfriends etc... its sad not to have them but you don't need them, they will all break up when going to different colleges etc.. what do you want to study after school? (if you know)
     
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  11. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Yup. One friends told me eagles fly alone. It's never too late. You are in mid twenties right? If you find the courage you should go to college too. Me? Well I wanna become a neurologist or a psychiatrist. I also wanna move to the States. I have to work my ass off for that cause the exams are so expensive lol. Thank you, Petal. You lift me up :) I know things will get better, time flies so quickly too. 5 years should pass in no time :)
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hope 5 years doesn't fly, I'll be 31 haha! But for you I hope it flies :p Yup I am 26 and failed college twice, to be honest I didn't really give it my all or a proper chance due to anxiety of being in a class with about 25 people and they laughed at me too :( It was too much. But you will blossom you are so young and recognise all these things, I wish I was as bright as you when I was a young teen. Keep your eyes on your goals and you will be fine :) I also wish I had SF when I was in school, for support!
     
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  13. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    I don't know if I'm that bright :) I just didn't wanna give up. I seeked help. And when nobody understood, I went online and searched for forums and found SF. This is a good, intimate place. I am so sorry Petal, people are very very cruel. I don't know if they were laughing at me but they were laughing at something and it was very awkward. BTW I am also reading personal development books. That may help if you haven't tried already.
     
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  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are a bright spark <3
    Reading those books can be very helpful, maybe try reading self esteem and confidence books too. You can purchase them cheap online. There is a book that was recommended to be from someone here called ''taming your gremlin'' i only read a bit but it was good and I recommend it. I currently can't find it lol.
    Best of luck with everything hun :)
     
  15. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Yeah, the one I'm reading now is called 'Self Esteem'. I will look up on that one too, after midterms lol. Thank you Petal :) Good luck to you, too
     
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  16. Jellyfish

    Jellyfish Active Member


    Believe me, i understand that quite well XD
    I had such bad self esteem and confidence in secondary school that when anyone who wasn't in our group tried to talk to me i would literally scowl at them until they went away.
    Everyone thought i was insane haha
    But it was just because i always thought people talked to me just to get a laugh or insult me in some way since that was how it was in primary school.
    I don't think friendships can be forced, going up to someone from the get-go with that intention usually just gets awkward so, whilst you have clear trouble talking to someone, i think real friendships happen from coincidental events that can honestly happen at any time.
    The hard part is waiting.
    Remain strong.

    Xxooxxoo
     
  17. Skylar

    Skylar Well-Known Member

    Yeah I know. So I am not really forcing it. I am trying to focus on my classes now that midterms are in less than 2 weeks. And ignore them as much as I can. It is also mostly about how I feel about being a loner, at first I felt ashamed but I am embracing the fact that I don't have to have friends around me or in my life all the time. Lonely times should have their perks too, such as getting to know myself better and change for the better. Thank you for your support. I have patience. Let's see how long it takes:)