Struggles with communicating with others

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by sadhart, Jul 25, 2015.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I wanted to put this in the crisis section, but I'm not sure it really fits, even though I feel very overwhelmed right now. For many years now, I have struggled with communicating. I'm not sure why other than I know on my end there is a lot of holding back. Six years ago, I experienced a very painful rejection and one of the reasons why I was rejected (aside from not being man enough as she said in so many words) was that I was awkward. I would see how she interacted with others guys and what was funny was that they didn't really have to do or say much of anything....she pretty much carried the conversation. But for whatever reason, I am different, not just when it came to her but others as well. I am not good at talking...at all. I mean I just don't find simple conversations easy. Even back when I was drinking, I struggled with socializing. Without alcohol, it feels much worse.

    I sot of kind of started talking to someone from a dating site. She initiated the contact, which I'm still trying to figure out why. Next thing I knew we started texting each other. This is my first time really texting and more so, this is really the first time I have spoken to a girl since that last rejection. It is very difficult and one of the biggest reasons are her expectations which I don't think I can meet. I think she wants constant contact. I didn't think she wanted to text all the time, so I would take a day off and not. Instead, I would just send a text before bed saying I hope she has a good next day or something like that. She once responded with how she had hoped we can talk more during the day and have a real conversation and me simply sending her a text at night gave her the impression that I wasn't interested at all. I had to tell her without opening up too much that I was interested, but I struggle with opening up. Like I said, I didn't go into all the stuff like still being hurt form a six year old rejection. She seemed to understand....and relate. I say that because she said she too was socially awkward. However, the a couple of nights ago, I sent a text before bed saying that I was sorry for not really texting much that day ( I texted but I was doing other things) and I explained that I was just distracted. The next morning she wrote how I wasn't talking enough and that it didn't seem I was interested and that she was used to it. I ended up texting her as much as I could all day. I told her things about myself and what not. She exchanged a bit, but then she stopped. I assumed bit was because she was working. Later that night I had some things to do, but I told her that I would have time to text later and I did so.....but there was no response. I sent her one before bed and I sent her one this morning and again, no response. I guess what bothers me is that I did the best I could to show I was interested and be worth getting to know. If she doesn't want to talk anymore, I suppose it is what it is, but it's also a little confusing. The dating site I met her on is really overwhelming and while I would like to take a chance to find someone, I'm still hurting over the last girl from six years ago, I don't want to get upset to the point of going back to drinking to numb the pain and quite frankly, as much as this girl on the dating site I met is nice and I'm interested, this is all so frustrating.

    I don't mean to ramble or rant. I'm just really unsure about my life right now. Sorry if this didn't make much sense.
     
  2. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    A lot of us here also struggle with communication. It seems that what i say don't make sense to others.


    I am sorry that this girl give you the silent treatment. It's a bit rude but not unusual. It seems like she deceided that it would not work out and don't know how to say it because she does' nt want to hurt you.. Do not give up, someday you will find someone more like yourself.
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    thank you. it turned out there was a reason why there was no reply....she was sick. but it still doesnt change how socially awkward i am. sorry for being so negative.
     
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