Last few days and today in particular. Seemed pointless to even get out of bed today - just wanted to be asleep so I didn't have to feel anything. I don't even know what is wrong - last few weeks an underlying panic that I can ignore for sustained periods but when I am not busy it is harder. Not sad or depressed or even the usual cyclical crash - just panic I can't place and do not know what to do with. Not even just a feeling but a physical reaction - elevated heart rate, hard to breathe, tears. Any time I am not concentrating on keeping a lid on it. If I could figure out what it is I think I would feel better, even if I can't get rid of it. Understanding what or why would be better than this. At least then I'd know where to start with tackling it. No idea what I'm expecting anyone to say - but if anyone has anything profound or insightful - or anyone has any helpful suggestions - I am all ears. (Eyes).