Struggling adjusting to being back at work

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Butterfly, Feb 13, 2014.

  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Since going back to work after my psychotic breakdown I feel, I'm not sure how to describe it. I just feel panicky all the time and I have never felt like this before whilst being at work, because although stressful, I really love my job. Anything is sending my pulse sky high and having horrible sickness and fluttery feelings in my chest constantly. I think it's fear. Fear that I will mess up, fear of the unknown, fear that I won't be able to cope. But I don't know why I am having these fears because despite the awful anxiety I have been praised with how well I have settled back into work. I have told my work colleagues that I am feeling anxious and panicky but they say that I am masking it well, they wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me that I am feeling so bad. I just want this feeling to stop and go away. I am clearly capable, so why these feelings that are unhelpful and holding me back??
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    A bit of anxiety is good in a way it keep one alert that being said i still have anxiety and i have been in the field over 30 yrs I think it is just part of the job we have so much responsibility Talking about your anxiety is good ok that way it releases it some In time the anxiety will lessen just if you are feeling unsure of yourself always reach out for support that is one thing i learned at the start work as a team you are never alone ok hugs
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I know what you mean about the anxiety thing in our field. My pulse is never below 100 when I'm at work because I'm constantly on the go and there is always an element of excitement or anxiety and the adrenaline pumps. But this feels different. This feel like panic. This doesn't feel like the normal, healthy anxiety. I'm so lucky to have such a supportive team around me. They have been lovely throughout the whole ordeal and supportive going back to work. It's just that I feel, returning to work has triggered something, but I'm not sure what, or why.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes i understand panic attacks wow i am glad you have your team with you and i hope you can talk to your therapist about this underlying feeling
    After a melt down at work i too never felt the same i lost my confidence in me and decided to leave. I am just getting back into the field again and still like you say i just do not feel good abt me. so i do understand I hope in time you are young still that feeling you have will decrease I think you are doing a great job just talking about it hun i wish i did as you are doing just talking and being open on how you are feeling
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I guess you may be right. I think I have lost my confidence, because I feel like I've been so weak and shouldn't have had time off, so with feeling like I am failure and let everyone down I guess my confidence in myself has gone down the pan. I guess I will get my confidence back in time. I just feel so shitty :(