I've been really struggling and my therapist knows it. More then half way through the session she said when I came in I said "I feel like cutting but I'm afraid I'd cut to deep". I have no memory of saying that at all. Being introverted I usually think well before I say something. It was incredilby scarry to me that I said that and had no memory of it. I've never experienced doing that before and it makes no sense to me that I said it. I had cut in the past and haven't for some time because of having gone to deep - which is why I don't do it anymore. I was not thinking about cutting. How could I have said this, it make no sense to me and I have no memory of saying it. I was really upset right away after she said I said it, because I was scared that that happened. I really wonder if I am losing control some how. I've been through a lot with 25yrs. depression experience and haven't ever had this happen.