Struggling at the moment - people overload!!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by downunder, Dec 25, 2008.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I am struggling at the moment. This is my 2nd Christmas without my daughter. I visited the site yesterday where she killed herself. I found that a couple of people had left rocks with "RIP" and someone had made a cross. My mum came with me and she got a bit upset.

    I have a bit of an eating disorder. I have been seeing a shrink for my grief issues and she is getting stuck into me about my eating. I have eaten a bit more so my parents don't get worried. But I feel happier when I eat less. Even though I am close to being in the healthy weight range she still harps on about it. I mean enough already.

    Today I went to my sister-in-laws for Christmas. My newphew who is 4 was running around while I am trying to eat and getting a plastic toy and hitting it right near my shoulder at somebody else. I ended up moving seats. I like my personal space. Then there were all his relatives fussing and owwing and arring over him, sort of got on my nerves, I think I need a bit of piece and quiet.

    Then I got home and ended up going for a drive (I tend to do this to relieve stress) and I took my dogs for a walk.

    My mum and dad have been here since last Saturday. Maybe I am getting exhausted from having to put the happy face on for so long.

    I am waiting for them to go home so I can go back to my old eating habits, I can see the weight coming back on. I feel happier when not eating properly. (I know this is not normal but it is better than feeling suicidal) I go back to work next week.

    I am too scared to ring the shrink as I don't want the cat team getting involved. I have a welfare section at work, but they have dobbed me into the cat team before and have even rung my husband and told him when I just said I struggling. So this is the only place left. I am not on medication because the shrink says that I am not depressed. I have made a few attempts on my life in the past 18 months. I will not do anything silly whilst my parents are here.
  2. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    Well i am sorry to hear about your loss, and the fact that you are struggling to cope right now, if you ever want a friendly chat or to rant/vent my PM inbox is always open to you and i hope that i will be of some use/help :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you didn't spend Christmas alone even though it sounds as though it wasn't that great of a time. You are probably worn down from all that has been going on and the lack of freedom and personal space. It hasn't been that long ago that you lost your daughter and your feelings are understandable. I am glad that you are seeking help in dealing with the grief. My PM box is always open should you need to use it. I will gladly listen without judging. Take care. :hug:
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