Struggling badly and so close.

Status
Not open for further replies.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#61
call then call crisis and go in to hospital they will keep yu safe get the thoughts to go away. time to change things up okay call go in get help
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#63
Thank you both of you,I ended up falling asleep I have to see my Dr today,I feel rotten I don't know what he's going to say.Nothing is helping I just feel so rotten badly low moods no enthusiasm,terrible problems with my conditions.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#65
Ace you can be helped and life can be whatever you need it to be, but first you must come to terms with the fact that what you are doing isn't working. Living by your own will, and by your own standards isn't cutting it. I suggest finding a purpose through prayer and faith. I am answered every time I pray and I know you will be too. Don't give up life for good, just give up the crappy life you know. You deserve more, but you can only get it by admiting that you cannot do it on your own. :hug: Hang in there, :D
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#66
Thanks for your kind words I saw my Dr today it went ok,I'm struggling for change mainly due to my Ocd being so troublesome.I know I can't do this alone I've been trying to get help I've been seeing my Dr for many years now and Psychologist for some time also.I'm still struggling so badly though,I don't know what to do I've lost the will to live and suicide dominates my thoughts constantly.

I'm trying to battle against all the conditions but I know it's simply not working.I can't stand this hell anymore it's so much pain,the thought of wanting to end it is so strong.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#67
glad you got in and saw your pdoc and doctor hope they changed your meds a bit. Your not alone in your thinking we all have those thoughts. Just thoughts Ace thats all it is a thought don't let it rule your life replace it with other things and acknowledge it for what it is a thought.
Hope they can help you because you can beat this you have before and you will again you have the control :hugtackles::hugtackles:
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#68
Thanks once again violet my meds haven't gone up this time I have to have another lithium test to see jow much is in my system.We'll have to see how much I have in my blood to see if it has to be increased agin.I'm just feeling pretty empty right now,feel I'll never change.I don't know what to do as I'm feeling extremely low,the thoughts are coming on quite strong I feel.I go past that park nearly every day on the bus and it really spurs me on I feel.

I don't know what to do anymore,I have no desire,interest or motivation and feel like such a dumb loser.Really I think it's best to just end it get it over and done with.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#69
again thoughts that is all it is a thought hold on okay days are dark right now but you know you know it can and will get better okay get the doc to add ambiligy or something new to the mix Ask okay Today you need to do ONE thing kind for you just ONE thing for YOU and keep doing that each day You are SPECIAL you do matter I hope testis done soon and you get meds you need to improve and the therapy take care
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#71
Thank you agin to both of you it is very hard I don't know if my Dr will add anything else extra right now.Did you mean Abilify violet?,my Dr said about trying this new anti depressant on the market but next year and I don't have much confidence really.As I'm feeling very unmotivated and uninterested I don't know what to do.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#72
Yes that is what i mean't my daughter just started that and she is interacting better now still depressed but not as much I hope you can something like that added another one is saphris Really push your doc okay push for a change now because it is needed now take care.
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#73
Thank you violet I'll see what I can get my Dr to do,I'm struggling again with the suicidal thoughts really wanting to do something so badly.I don't know what to do so badly I'm having a hard time with the othe conditions Ocd-Obsessive Compulsive disorder,Bdd-Body dysmorphic disorder and Anxiety on top of the depression.I mentioned hospital a little while ago to my dr he said it's not a crazy idea which I said,he just said I can stay in there a little while but then I'd have to come out eventually.

I said it because I don't like my home life at all my father has always been abusive even when he's not I'm not comfortable at all.When night time hits I feel the suicidal thoughts coming in alot stronger.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#74
Nights are always bad for me too I think going to hospital for awhile allows you some breathing time some time to just be you and feel safe. It may only be for awhile but that will give you enough time to get some proper help and rest. See if hospital can set up different form of living arrangement for you away from your father take care okay try to get to a safe house after hospital but i would go okay get away from that environment for awhile. I often wish i went in for awhile myself take care of you please as always i care i do.
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#76
Thank you once again violet and Dave yeah I don't know what to do I don't like living here really.I need to get some other comfort somewhere it's always been like this living here.Due to the severity of my Ocd I've struggled moving out also.I thought of as an escape just ending it all better off like that:sad::sad::sad:.
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#79
Thank you both so much for the touching words,the conditions are eating away at me right now it's so hard to keep fighting.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#80
but fight you must there is no other choice okay keep busy let the thoughts go okay just keep busy your mind occupied with other things so thoughts are not so powerful:hugtackles::hugtackles::hugtackles:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top