Struggling not to go back (possible trigger)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ayeartolove, Jan 17, 2010.

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  1. Ayeartolove

    Ayeartolove Member

    I haven't self harmed in a while and for a while I thought maybe I was completely over it. But now things in my life have piled up and every direction I look something is going wrong. I'm in so much pain emotionally and I really want to self harm. Something is stopping me. I'm not sure what it is, but its getting weaker. I remember how it feels....

    I want to talk to someone, but I can't. Everyone is more concerned about stopping me from cutting than stopping the feelings that make me want to.

    Even when I stopped cutting, I didn't stop injuring myself. I would pick at my skin until I got these open flesh wounds that would get infected. Its only been recently that I've stopped self injuring at all. But I realize now that I never got over it. Things just got easier. I thought I was coping better, but really its just that there was less to cope with.

    I'm not really sure what I expect from posting this. Just a way to vent to people who understand.
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I understand I really do. Sorry you have logged off but I am gonna send you a PM if you don't mind.
    Hope you stayed safe, Bambi
     
  3. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i understand where you are coming from too :hug:

    how did you manage to stop the first time? have u tried seeing a therapist for it ? hope you ok, your in my thoughts :hug:
     
  4. Ayeartolove

    Ayeartolove Member

    I have tried seeing a therapist, it helped. But as you can see the urge is still there, even after years of therapy and medication. Its not going to go away easy.
     
  5. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    it never does friend, send me a message... the urges are all to strong in me as well.. maybe together we can fight off the things that hunt us...
     
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