I haven't self harmed in a while and for a while I thought maybe I was completely over it. But now things in my life have piled up and every direction I look something is going wrong. I'm in so much pain emotionally and I really want to self harm. Something is stopping me. I'm not sure what it is, but its getting weaker. I remember how it feels.... I want to talk to someone, but I can't. Everyone is more concerned about stopping me from cutting than stopping the feelings that make me want to. Even when I stopped cutting, I didn't stop injuring myself. I would pick at my skin until I got these open flesh wounds that would get infected. Its only been recently that I've stopped self injuring at all. But I realize now that I never got over it. Things just got easier. I thought I was coping better, but really its just that there was less to cope with. I'm not really sure what I expect from posting this. Just a way to vent to people who understand.