struggling,one day left before I get help, just need to make it until then

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RJ5, Feb 24, 2013.

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  1. RJ5

    RJ5 Member

    I have my assessment on tuesday, Ive been experiencing psychosis for the past 3 weeks. part of that is every day all day I feel like I have spiders all over me. the only time I dont is in the shower. Im scared of going outside because of people and I hear people in my flat when theres no one here.

    The spiders are the only thing I cant seem to do anything about and I keep just feeling so hopeless and wanting to hurt myself, either ending it or getting this overwhelming urge to cut off all my skin. I know Im getting help on tuesday but tomorrow I will be alone and Im scared. I just need to make it until tuesday and I can get some help. Im just scared and overwhelmed and I dont want to feel like this anymore.
     
  2. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Sorry that you are feeling so bad i have psychosis too i hear and see thing i also have delusions
    Medication does help other things can help with voices
    Drowning the out with music on head phones
    using ear plugs
    Tell them NO and /or go away
    challenage the voices
    I dont know what you could do about the spiders maybe you could remind yourself that there not there no matter what your feeling
    can you see the spiders as well ?
    Is there anyone with you that could tell you if the spiders are there or not ?

    i hope the assesment goes ok and you can get some relief from them
     
  3. RJ5

    RJ5 Member

    I use music and earplugs and just close all the curtains and dont answer the door. I dont want to do anything stupid it just keeps going through my head as the only way to stop it, but then I know when I have my assessment they should be able to help. I know I just need to ride it out, its just hard. I dont see them, I just feel them, I go to wipe them away and I cant find them or they disappear. Its weird feeling them there but not being able to see them or find them. Thanks for your suggestions Im trying really hard not to do anything but its hard when its all I can think of doing as a way of stopping it.
     
  4. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    In the past weight id felt bad because of my psychosis i self injured and it relived it but only for a short while ...once you start to hurt yourself its harder to stop
    believe me when i say that i have been self injuring since i was 13 am now 36 and i still cant stop
    I hope you get the help you need
    pm me any time if you need to talk
     
  5. RJ5

    RJ5 Member

    Thank you, I havent self harmed in a long time, I started when I was about 9, and I think I properly stopped when I was about 21. Its not the same as wanting to self harm. I know it sounds weird but wanting to cut off my skin so it doesnt feel like Ive got spiders on me. I know its not rational Im just feeling like a mess. I just need to ride out tomorrow and Ill be getting help. It seems like such a long time but I know its not. Thanks for your support
     
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I took spiders off of someone once. She had psychosis. i did not see the spiders. But I knew that didnt matter. I am wondereing if there is something, an herb or essential oil that spiders hate. I googled it and found a few possibilities. Often these can be combined. The important thing to know about essential oils is they never should be used without being diluted. What i found was pepperming oil, lavendar old and tea tree oil. If you wanted more info re how to use it, i can tell you.

    i wish I could help more. I am so sorry things are like this for you. I know, and love someone who lives with psychosis. The relentless voices and sounds. She somehow gets through. Even though its very difficult, as you know only too well. She is beautiful, loving, smart and wonderful.
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just offering support and a listening ear... try to keep talking, keep yourself connected throughout the day so you don't end up isolating. You can get through this, and soon you'll be getting help. Is there anything at all that distracts you from the thoughts or feelings of spiders?
     
  8. RJ5

    RJ5 Member

    Ive been using coconut oil, it helps for a little while. My partner doesnt believe me about the spiders, I think it annoys her but I tried to explain how scary it was last night and told her how I felt about wanting to cut my skin off because of how distressing it was and I just ended up scaring her. Ive arranged for my friend to come and take me to walk her dog first thing and Ive contacted the people that are assessing me to see if there is anywhere I can go just for the day. Hopefully by the time Im back from the walk I will have heard something back from them. I dont want to do this, I want to get through until tomorrow. Im just so scared of being left on my own incase I do soemthing and then I end up missing out on help I could have received..
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    yes, i hear ya. I hope they can come up with a good answer for you for tomorrow. If you have to keep taking showers, then thats one thing you said works. Do you remember in the moment that showers are an option? I know that hot water runs out. So I understand you cant do it all the time. Wish there was a swimming pool you could get to. But hopefully the people who are assessing you will come up with something for tomorrow. I will send you some healing vibes to get through. For what its worth. let me know if there is something I can do to help. okay?
     
  10. RJ5

    RJ5 Member

    Im finding it hard to get out at the moment. Theres these people. I sometimes forget, I have some diazepam too which doesnt make the feeling go away but it helps me not to think about such desperate measures. Its hard to remember these things, maybe I should write myself a list.
     
  11. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    please do write a list. if you want you can ever write it here.
    Do you think you should write it now?
    And do you think you should take the diazepam now?
    Is there anything you have taken which would not interact well with the diazepam?
    Please make sure to not take too much.

    I can hear you really are trying everything in your power to take good care of yourself.
    I hear your strength. and for what its worth, I respect it and you.
     
  12. RJ5

    RJ5 Member

    Shower
    Coconut oil
    diazepam
    contact someone

    Im trying not too take too many so it can keep me going for a while until they can give me some medication that might actually help properly. I guess when it gets to the point where Im desperate its a little too late to take them and youre right it might be better to take it before it gets like that. Thanks for your support
     
  13. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    yes, just think things through as carefully as possible. Even though I know thats hard considering whats going on. I am here for whatever support I can give. Sending some healing vibes and respect for your awesome self ( I am serious about the awesome)
     
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