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Struggling to come to terms with my sexuality

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Haroldvonharvey, Sep 1, 2014.

  1. Hi everyone, I come from a very conservative religious background, I have always known that I am gay, I was molested as a young child and I think that is where it started but I have never been able to completely come to terms with the fact that I am gay. I just struggle to accept this as being final, it conflicts with my religious beliefs, I have been raised in a culture in which homosexuality is vilified.

    Has anyone else gone through the same feelings, I would like to know how they worked or are working through these feelings.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum and you can PM direct. Please DO NOT DO ANYTHING.
  3. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hi and welcome, foremost.
    it was never the religious books that disagreed with homosexuality. it was the readers who twisted the passages.

    do people in your life know and/or suspect?

    you are fine to fancy whomever you wish
  4. Hey, no they most certainly don't know, I suspect that there are some who might be suspicious but if they are they have not said anything, my father is more the type to disown me than ever accept me so I dont see people knowing any time soon either
  5. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    it is important to feel comfortable in self first. here's to finding that.
  6. Thank you guys :) appreciate the support
  7. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Hey, I want to offer you all the support in the wold right now, friend. I'm extremely religious, it is well with my soul. God loves me, and forgives me. Just love God, Love everyone, love yourself, and that's all you need. Its all about love. I love you. People here love you.

    I was molested as a child myself. My first experience with sex, was with an adopted boy we took in. Did it change me, yes. Did it turn me gay, of course not.

    I'll stay here for you anytime you need to PM me. If you feel like shit, go for it. I can take it if you are angry. Yell if you want. I'll be here if you need me.

    Stay strong, and never give up.

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2014
  8. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    Very wise words, love is really the most important thing out there, I'm not speaking strictly in romantic love, but all kinds, I'm not the most religious person, but I do believe that the most important message in any religious book is that we should all love each other, I don't and never considered homossexuality a sin or even something wrong, what I do consider a sin is prejudice and hate. You do not choose to be gay or straight or tall or short or have blue or brown eyes, that is just the way we are, it's sad that in most parts of the world people cannot be open about their sexuality, two consenting adults that love each other should be able to express that love and not be afraid of social consequences.

    I really wish I had better advise for the OP, I have a few gay friends that came to terms with their sexuality and some are now in happy relantionships, but I'm from Europe and here things are very different, homossexuality is accepted, offcourse that there is still some stigma, but things are a lot better, even here they were still afraid to tell their friends and family, so it's not an easy thing to come to terms with.

    I really hope that you will come to terms with who you are and that someday you can have a happy full life, without fear :)
  9. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    I was molested when I was younger too and I truly believe it has a big impact on why I like girls today. Don't get me wrong, I love girls because of the feminism, but last week there was a guy that I actually thought I liked. Mainly because he knew his anime lol but when I actually thought of him touching me, I imagined my fathers hands touching me and I automatically backed off scared. It might not be like that towards you, but being abused really does make an impact. Although, I'm an atheist, so I have no care for religious matter, but I do understand being looked under. It's neither pretty, nor fun. What's most important honestly is to do what makes you happy. If your significant other, friends, or family cant accept you for who you are, no matter how bad it hurts, they don't deserve to be in your life. I don't have any advice to give you honestly accept not to care, but I don't know if that's wise. I lack empathy and people don't like that. Being different is hard and it hurts, but if you think about, is being the same any better? Do whatever makes YOU happy, because in the end you're dying alone... Although, look at me, I've been depressed since middle school, so I shouldn't talk too much lol