Struggling to handle life

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Aug 20, 2010.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I havent been here in a while..Things have been so miserable lately though and I didnt have anywhere to vent. Honestly I have no one to really talk to. Im not even sure I can stay online much longer. I havent been able to pay my electric bills and the company said Im going to be on the shut off list in about ten days. So no electric means no internet (because my computer wont run off air!). Also my phone may go as I couldnt pay it either.. Things have been so shitty and I feel like Im going to crumble under it all. First our old car tears up... We still owe almost $1000 on it. We could only get $200 out of it as almost nothing was good on it anymore.. It cost us $400 for another used car - then $35 for breaks, $9 for air conditioner crap, $10 for a spare tire, another $50 in other parts, and $13 for a sticker...... Not to mention the money required to switch the title - taxes, fees, and plate switching. All I got to pay this month was the car insurance and the internet..My mom paid the tv bill for me thankgod.. My electric and telephone costs are now like $334 and I dont have it and wont have it...... In other BAd NEWS my son starts school next week..Kindergarten..First time ever in school..They cancled the oritentation for his grade..So Im expected to send him without even meeting his teacher or knowing where his class room is..Its such a crock of shit.... Oh and on top of the rest of the shit I cant deal with my computer monitor is tore up..ITs dancing around as I write (the display I mean not the actual screen) so sorry for any terrible spelling here...Im just breaking under the pressure...I cant pay the bills...I dont have everything I need for my sons start of school......I cant contain the tears and no one cares...My mom doesnt have time for me...My Grandma doesnt seem to want to hear it...My husband is stupid and doesnt understand my feelings... I cant take much more..I mean the car, the bills, the computer, my sons school....I feel so overwhelmed and I dont know how to handle it.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    things always come in bunches try to only deal with one thing okay at a time don't look at the whole picture here just one thing deal with it and move on
    i am glad you came back to vent it helps it really does
     
  3. What Ever

    What Ever Active Member

    As weird as this may sound I almost would be happy to have your problems. You have a son and a husband. That is something to be proud of. I've never done anything of any worth. You are worried about paying your bills, but I don't even have any money to even get a place to live in the first place and to have bills to pay. I can't get a job because I am worthless. No one needs me because I'm not good at anything. I have not contributed anything and have no value. At least you do.
     
  4. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    I wish you didn't hate yourself like that, but I understand, I felt like that at one point too.

    I think you have a point about her situation though. Appreciate what you have, you have a lot more than a lot of people.
     
  5. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I dont have a job either.. I feel pretty much worthless myself.. I think the only thing of value I do on a regular basis is wash dirty clothes, wash dirty dishes, and cook something to eat. When you have others relying on you the problems just seem to double. Honestly if it were only me Id sit around in the dark and not even worry about the electric. Or Id move in with family although Id hate it (why do you think I got married in the first place, it was to get away from my moms house..okay a little of a joke, a little not). When its not just you anymore the problems seem so much worse because your not the only person affected by it. It hurts when your at that point and someone little really needs you to come thru and your options are so thin that none of them are any good... It really does happen in groups - Bad things come in threes (is what my great grandma always use to say). Its true.. First our car , then our electric, then our phone. Then they cancled kindergarten orientation and my computer monitor goes frunky on me.. Bad stuff really does hit in groups.. Im doing my best not to let it drag me under but my entire life has been kind of crappy. I feel like my breaking point is really close to being reach... Im taking care of things one thing at a time though -thank you Violet-.. My husband went to try and sell a power saw. If it sells it wont be much but at least its gas in the car and most of whats left on our school list... When the electric shut off notice comes all I can do is apply for assitance and if that fails I will have to look into another option from there.. The phone bill I can probably get double billed on... It does help to vent.. Im glad I can come here when I need to and get feelings out.. It just seems that nothing goes right for long in my life.. Its like the few good things I do get dont last long and then its ages before another good thing comes along. I mean life is full of good things - pets, family, friends, ect - but Im talking really good things (not that the other good things arent great Im just meaning something out of the normal happening...A suprise). I feel silly for venting over things like I do but to me they are serious... Its depressing when bills dont get paid..When events you are relying on get cancled..and when nothing goes the way you expect it to (forget how you want it to.. I mean just the bare minimum you expect to happen..)..Im sitting here with my finger going numb, my foot sore, and so much other crap wrong...Dont get me wrong..Im greatful for the roof over my head even if its about to fall down on my head..Im greatful for my family even though I cant do anything to make their lives better.. Im greatful for what little bit I have..Its just so hard not to want more when you need so much more..Im sure a lot of people can understand that..
     
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