struggling to hold on

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by angelgirl10, Apr 7, 2013.

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  1. angelgirl10

    angelgirl10 Member

    I miscarried the child it took two years to conceive two weeks ago. Now I find myself struggling with suicidal feelings all the time. People keep telling me that this takes and time and it will get better, but it gets so exhausting struggling not to hurt yourself each day. I also do not feel that I have time to get over this. I am a full time grad student and work part-time. I'm having trouble doing school work because I can't concentrate and I go back to work tomorrow. I haven't gotten through a day without crying in two weeks. Does anyone have any tips on how to get through the day without feeling like you're constantly battling against suicide?
     
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I am so sorry for your loss truly sorry, that is a horrible horrible thing to happen. Have the doctors offered any support to help deal with what you are going through?

    Honestly in terms of coping, maybe you need to be signed of work sick to help so you don't have to worry about work?
     
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss, don you have a councellor someone irl you speak to about how you are feeling are you on meds and is your gp aware of current struggles? Please let these people know. but if it gets too much you can always to nearest hospital and seek assistance from a+e.
     
  4. angelgirl10

    angelgirl10 Member

    I don't think the doctor will sign me off. I think he thinks the time I have had off after the D & C is plenty. My husband is also sick of me and my crying. I can tell he doesn't want to deal with it anymore but won't say so. I've been trying really hard to stop, but honestly it's starting to feel like not being here would just be easier. No one to put up with me, no one thinking I'm just trying to get attention. I started trying to cut myself, bruise myself, hit my head when I cry just to make myself stop but that's not even working. I don't know what to do anymore
     
  5. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    The doctors have to listen to you, it is there job, is there any local groups you could go along too that support each other who have gone through a similar experience? if that makes sense?
     
  6. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    if not make a complaint to the practice manager or see another dr
     
  7. angelgirl10

    angelgirl10 Member

    No no meds and I don't have a counselor. I wish I did. I wanted to go to one once, but we never spent the money. I'm afraid to tell my doctor how I feel. We are supposed to be trying to conceive again in a couple months and I know that's what my husband wants. If I tell the doctor how I'm feeling, I think that will slow down the conception process due to lack of fertility meds on his part. I keep thinking I can hold and this will get better but it isn't
     
  8. angelgirl10

    angelgirl10 Member

    I looked for a local support group but couldn't find one. I was disappointed because I think that could have helped. I think people there would have understood that thinking positive isn't always enough to move on. I have this huge hole in my heart that I don't know how to fix. I can't stand not being functional, that's what makes me think there's no point to being here.
     
  9. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I know you said you feel your partner does not understand but have you told them how you truly feel? like how bad you are feeling?
     
  10. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I just don't what suggest but it worth speaking your doctor about how are feleing if you can't speak to him or then write him/her a note on a piece of note pad paper and then explaining your feeling really low.
     
  11. angelgirl10

    angelgirl10 Member

    I have told my husband how bad I feel, he just says that if I stop blaming myself and think positive about us conceiving with the help of medication that I will be fine. He also is frustrated that I haven't left the house except for medical treatment since it happened.
     
  12. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I was in two minds whether to change this then thought stuff it, it is still quite painful even though it happened 12 years ago.

    I was 17 my sister was 20, she lost a baby, I mean I still lived at home, I did not know how to deal with it, but I had to be there, she could not tell my parents, so I used to drive round chatting to her trying to help, just to be there you know, do what I could, yeah it impacted me but that is not the point.

    Why am I saying this, all these years later, my sister has five kids, (yes if you read my posts some drama still there).
    I guess what I am saying is like how it destroyed my sister, all she had was some spotty 17 year old brother, but she got through it, and yes every year on the day we remember it, but you have to live because who knows what the future may hold for you.

    Please just remember that, I shall stop rambling now. I know it is not advice, but i hope it gives you some hope, and maybe you have a friend, sibling someone who can listen like I did.
     
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