Struggling to let go of the past

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Deadly, Dec 19, 2014.

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  1. Deadly

    Deadly Well-Known Member

    It is 3 years this month that my relationship to my then wife finally ended. It was a marriage of conflict many times. The arguments the fights and the drinking. All to excess. We were not good parents. And yet even now 3 years on I still struggle to overcome the past. One of my family members keeps strong ties with my ex. This has been something which I have never accepted even though I have tried time and time again. Finally it blew a hole in the relationship I have with my brother. We never speak now. I heard he said to another brother I have that "I bring to much negativity into his life". Maybe he is right.

    I wish I did not feel the way I do about the past. The losses. And the fact the ex still has lots of interaction with some of my family members. She has 2 children. I tried for 2 years to keep the relationship open with 1 of them. In the end it failed. She backed off. I don't see her now. It was like loosing one of my own children. Worse still what I am writing here today in December 2014 I was writing 2 or 3 years ago. I can not seem to move on. It may all sound pathetic .... probably is. But it hurts. I have found out my ex meets with my brother and his family soon before Xmas. This also hurts. It should not. Maybe it is made worse by the fact I am isolated and totally alone. Days can pass and I do not speak to single person.

    If anybody has any advise or insight I would really appreciate it. I have read dozens of online articiles on this issue of letting go but am still feeling so stuck. Thanks for reading.
     
  2. Dark

    Dark Active Member

    I'm sorry about your circumstances. Relationships are a huge test a lot of the time. Maybe you can get your neutral brother to conduct a small meeting and serve as a mediator between you and that brother. So that maybe both parties could grasp an understanding of the problems in the relationship? There just seems to be a lot of miscommunication from the sounds of it.

    I think maybe it's got a lot in the way you interpret things too, unless there are strong indications, but she could just be having a busy time period and it's nothing personal against you. I don't think it's pathetic at all.... I suffer from the same isolation, loneliness and marginalisation from both my family and "friends". It's like being trapped in a never-ending hole and no one asks for that. Even if it's what you say it is, the only thing left to do would to accept it and to move on, which is easier in words than actions, unfortunately. You need time and proper help for that though. Do you have any mental health support? Sorry if I'm not any help,hope your situation gets better.
     
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