Struggling to not cut.... *Trig?*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by dark&lone, Aug 8, 2010.

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  1. dark&lone

    dark&lone Well-Known Member

    I just signed the promise in a below post, and I cant stop thinking about self harming I want to cut so desparetly, I dont know why. I havent done it in something like 5 days or something, but I want to do it, Ive been wanting to do it all the time, but Ive been able to put it off, yet that aint gonna work. I feel like a failure for just even thinkign about cutting. I just wanna hurt myself so much. I dont even have a proper reason.. Saying that ive never needed a reason, being alive is enough, i need to feel pain, for punishment, to feel normal, to feel.... I feel so angry when i dont cut, because I cant vent my feelings out... especially not angry, i tend to explode.

    I am not going to cut.. but i really want to... is my desire not to strong enough.. I dno???
     
  2. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    How are you a failure? You have been thinking about cutting, have strong impulse to do it and have resisted the temptation. That takes will power - a lot. You have impulse to do it and if you did it might give you a brief release, a feeling of being real for how long? The impulse to do would not be sated for long. You are controlling it. That sounds like impressive achievement. But you need a distraction from the impulse so it gets out of your life. Do you do any exercise?
     
  3. dark&lone

    dark&lone Well-Known Member

    yeah I do alot of stuff like wakling running ect.. but it never stops me, I just think that after it I will do it. & I have failed because I cut last night....

    couldn't resist no longer...
     
  4. KoNfUsEd

    KoNfUsEd Active Member

    thats all i think about lately.. i was on the promise you mentioned but couldn't keep it to myself let alone you guys would normally just handle it but i think i cant anymore. I know my answer wont help at all just want you to know your not alone... sorry
     
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