In just 8 months, I've made tremendous progress. Some of it would have been unthinkable as little as 2 months ago. But this past week has been one hell of a relapse. I'm struggling to get back to a positive place. To let the blame go. It's so difficult. This feels like the biggest fight of my life. And I realise just how important it is, if I can't recover now, if I can't get back my power from this illness, then I will never have any kind of life. There is so much bubbling within me, waiting to be released, waiting to fly for I have had a taste that things can indeed be better now, I have briefly, but truly, seen the light now....only to be told, "no, back in your cage", it is doubly horrendous to deal with because of this. I'm very ill with this right now, I think I first have to accept that and the fact I'm not seeing the truth in order to open up my heart back to self-compassion and progress once more. Soemtimes I wonder if I'll ever do it, I so want my life to different.