struggling to remain

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lost_child, May 1, 2009.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Monday I ended up in hospital..last night I took another overdose, a cocktail I am struggling so much right now the last 24 hours have been so difficult that I don't know how much longer I can hold off fighting the thoughts. Everyday that is a day closer to my birthday (which is over a month away) I can feel myself slipping further and further, heading closer to death. I always said I would never see my 30th and I seem to be making sure that I don't. i'm really struggling and all I want at the moment is for someone to hold me, but there is nobody.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're struggling with so much. Do you have anyone you can talk to ... a doctor, therapist, even a close friend?
     
  3. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I have a therapist who I'm meant to be seeing today, i've not seen her for 3 weeks and I've only had 7 sessions with her so not sure if I can tell her things without being shouted at. I am struggling and I don't feel very well i keep feeling like I will pass out. I just want to cry but I won't let myself cry.
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It's okay to let yourself cry. Crying is okay; it's a way of releasing emotions, and those emotions need to come out.

    Has your therapist shouted at you before? If he/she has, maybe you should consider trying to find a new one. Shouting at you isn't going to help you; it will only make you feel worse. Definitely not very professional!
     
  5. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    You don't deserve to be shouted at, are you worried or has that happened before? God I can feel your pain in your words. I'm here if you feel like talking, I can definitely relate.

    I've always had that feeling that I won't live past a certain age. At one time it was 16, 18, then 21, 25, 30...now I don't think I'll go past my next birthday and the reason why I came to this forum is that I'm making it happen for my next birthday too. My birthday isn't for a while but I'm already making plans. I wish I could be your big sister and give you a safe hug. You can talk to me. I'm so glad you are seeing a therapist, but please talk to me or someone if you get upset or anything. It can be hard to go right after something as intense as an overdose.
     
  6. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I just worry there shuot at me, she hasn't before but its a worry. can i talk to someone please?
     
  7. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    PM me anytime you want.

    I know that therapy is hard and I understand that you are afraid of being yelled at, but maybe you are afraid of being yelled at because you feel like you deserve to be yelled at. Do you think that may be true? Just in case, I don't see a girl that ought to be yelled at. My first reaction when I read your post was feeling caring feelings towards you, not anger. I hate that you are hurting but it is stupid for anyone to get angry. Do you get angry at a person for falling down or do you feel bad that they got hurt? Probably you feel bad they got hurt and want to help them, right? Why don't you deserve the same treatment?
     
  8. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I do feel that I need to be shourted at, I always have had someone shout at tme. i don't like it htought. and yesterday morning some man shouted at me and he's face went red and he was shaking since then I've not felt safe. I don't want people to shoiurt at me. it reminds me off things. I don't like it. please don't shout. please.
     
  9. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    I won't shout at you, promise. Besides, it's hard to shout when you're typing ;)

    Sweet girl, you do not deserve to be shouted at. You never should have been treated the way you were. :hugtackles:
     
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i feel the same way
     
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