struggling to talk

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by willgethere, Apr 21, 2007.

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  1. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    I am finding it so hard to talk to people about what happened.

    I have got myself a psychosexual therapist and had my first appointment with her, but I am finding it too hard to even start to tell about the crap that I am going through.

    Why is it so hard, I know that she is there to help me and I know that I am wasting her time, maybe it is time to give in and let him win,

    How can I get over this? what is wrong with me?
     
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    There is NOTHING wrong with you, a lot of people that have been raped or abused in any form often find it hard to talk about what they've been through, which i'm sure many people here can tell you happened to them.

    I dont know how you can get over it but i suggest you take it step by step.. little by little, fronm hearing about past experiences it seems that its usually better once youve spoken about it..

    Goodluck x
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Just remember that it takes time, your therapist will be well aware of this and will be in no hurry.
    Tell what you can when you can.
    You'll get there hun....he aint gonna win shit!!!
     
  4. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to say I know how you feel. I have a therapist but I'm finding it really hard to talk about it. Often I feel like I'll never be able to and I just want to try and forget about it.

    It's really good that you made the step of finding a therapist :smile:. Take your time and be honest with her. Do it at your pace.

    Here if you want to talk :hug:.

    Take care,

    ~Nobody~ x
     
  5. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    I cant take my time :(

    I ihave been given 6 sessions with her and I have already used 1 in which I dint know her and the trust an faithwasnt there to really tell her owt.


    What can I do? it's never going to be the same. i hate it. Ihurt mentally and physically. i dont want to be here. I am so scared.
     
  6. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    I think it's normal that the first session would be a 'getting to know each other' session. Don't get consumed by the number of sessions or plan what you are going to say to her, just try to relax (not easy I know) and eventually the words will come.
    She won't try to rush you and yes she is there to help you, you are NOT wasting her time.
    Of course you are hurting and scared, I wish I could give you a hug and help you feel safe, if you want to talk please pm me.
    We are here to support you, he is NOT going to win.
     
  7. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your very kind replies.

    Thank you too hazel for your kind offer to pm you, I cant do it, i really cant waste your time, but thank you so much
     
  8. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    I cant do it anymore, I have to get outta this world,
    raped again toay,
    my fault, im gone.
    sorry
     
  9. Just_a_guy

    Just_a_guy Well-Known Member

    willgethere :( :hug:

    Oh no :(
    I can imagine it must be very hard. It is not your fault, please dont go :(
     
  10. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    its just too much, I really cant stay, theres no point at all, things will hopefully be over soon
    i cant stop it
    sorry
     
  11. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    just wanted to appologise, last night was just too hard
    so sorry
     
  12. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    pathetic as usual thats me

    I cant stop it happening cos I am useless and I cant manage to kill myelf cos I am useless.

    Why cant people let you get on with it and not stop you, they didnt know how I was feeling, they didnt know what was happening, my body is dirty, used, disgracful. I told them I was in sound mind and this is what I wanted, but no they coulnt they wanted to be the hero.

    I went when there are very few people about so it wasnt a waste of time and now look I am still here, he has got hol of me since, he has put a knife into me he has raped me again,

    USELESS
    Not love just abused and cast aside
    The pain is just too much
     
  13. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I'm assuming since this is the 3rd time you've been raped that you know this man. Wouldn't going to the police be a good idea? :unsure: Or surely this is going to continue to happen and you'll never get healing for it, no matter how long you are with your counsellor. It's a big step hun, but I really think it's the only option.
     
  14. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    i went to the police a while ago, when it first happened and he threatened to get his mate to finish the job if i did go, and stupidly i listened to the counsellor who said it was an idle threat so i went

    Well the threat was reality his mate came, yeah i knew him, but not his mate.
    sorry for posting, i know i shouldnt have
     
  15. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    But the police can protect you if you let them know what is happening. Or how is the situation going to change? He will always have control over you.
     
  16. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    sorry as i said i did this b4

    wont post again, sorry didnt mean to be a pest
     
  17. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    You're not being a pest. Maybe it's me who should shut up... you know what's best for yourself. :sad:
     
  18. ikaruga

    ikaruga New Member

    I know i'm just the new guy around here , but this kind of story happened to one of my friend before I knew her. I've known her for years and it's been a long road to get here. You'll have a lot of personal demons to fight yourself to get through. But Don't fear him, he's just a scumbag, and a shame for decent guys all over the world. I'm sure you are a really good person, don't ever let people like him win over you.
     
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