I read so many threads here and so many of us are saying the same thing just with different details; we've hit a wall with the medical profession, we feel stuck, overwhelmed, see no way forward. I am there too and I've felt this way for about 18 months now. I have better days, but my better days are still far from good. I gave up my job, don't go to work and rarely see friends any more. All the totally classic symptoms of depression - no longer enjoy the things I used to enjoy, have little motivation to do anything, feel utterly stuck and overwhelmed. I isolate a lot. I drag myself to volunteer once a week and go to the gym a couple of times a week but other than that, that is pretty much it. I've made contact with someone that can help me put a suicide plan in action and each day I try to find the tiniest reason for 'not today'. Some days I just don't know how I summon up that resolve and today is one of those days when I am fighting demons. It took me a while to figure out a plan but now I feel I am not many steps away and I could just do this any time. What do you do when you feel really really hopeless and wonder deep down if anything is going to change? I actually have fairly strong beliefs that it's down to each individual to create the life they want for themself but I can't seem to follow my own beliefs.