I have this overwhelmingly fear of abandonment and am having a hard time to control my emotions since I was a teen. I already talked with a therapist and he said I have OCD, but I think its just part of it. I am under a lot of pressure from work, and at the same time have this feeling that people who I consider very important to me are abandoning me. The scariest part is these uncontrollable urge to escape the pain from my fear of abandonment. I even gave up a career and home just to escape to a different country because of this urge to escape the pain, and chronic feelings of emptyness and suicidal thoughts have occurred very frequently. My faith in God has so far kept me from killing myself, and so far he seemed to have given me some leeway on a current situation that I am in. I may try to kill myself without even knowing it in case something too painful happens. It did happen a few years back and I only realized it now upon reflection. Please help! I thought I'd try it here first and any advice would be appreciated.