My pdoc thinks I have bipolar disorder due to my fluctuations in complete polar moods plus hallucinations, which kinda complicate things. I think I have been in a hypo manic state for almost 3 months. Sometimes I could function, and function well. Other times I was just paralysed by such irritation and agitation and racing thoughts. It can be so bad that I have to sit in silence for hours as it is the only way I can calm down. However, today my mood just seems to have switched to the suicidal, unpredictable, impulsive state and I am struggling to get a grip on the mood shift. My anti psychotic is not helping with my sleep and I have a lavendar candle is burning with relaxing music playing. I may switch the music off as it's riling me up. I don't know what to do to help myself, I think my mind just needs to be distracted for one night and I will see my GP tomorrow if I can get in. I am worried though, because if I lose control tonight, I don't want to play games with my life.