Struggling With Latest Mood Shift

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterfly, Jan 23, 2012.

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  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    My pdoc thinks I have bipolar disorder due to my fluctuations in complete polar moods plus hallucinations, which kinda complicate things. I think I have been in a hypo manic state for almost 3 months. Sometimes I could function, and function well. Other times I was just paralysed by such irritation and agitation and racing thoughts. It can be so bad that I have to sit in silence for hours as it is the only way I can calm down. However, today my mood just seems to have switched to the suicidal, unpredictable, impulsive state and I am struggling to get a grip on the mood shift. My anti psychotic is not helping with my sleep and I have a lavendar candle is burning with relaxing music playing. I may switch the music off as it's riling me up. I don't know what to do to help myself, I think my mind just needs to be distracted for one night and I will see my GP tomorrow if I can get in. I am worried though, because if I lose control tonight, I don't want to play games with my life.
     
  2. Takotsubo

    Takotsubo Well-Known Member

    go for a run , or do some kind of exercise in your house , dance to the music i guess practice some dance moves . hell maybe start drawing or go out for a smoke. when i get irate i usually do this .
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I can't do all that when I'm like this otherwise I will end up in a violent rage. I'm sat in silence, in the dark, in bed. I don't know what else to do. I'm so frustrated I just want to cry.
     
  4. Takotsubo

    Takotsubo Well-Known Member

    go buy a rubix cube and just play with it to keep your mind occupied , probably going to say to yourself that its not helping but force yourself to play with it until you calm down .
     
  5. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Can you ask for ambien for sleep? It does wonders for me. I'm out in 30 minutes or less. Without it, I wake up every few hours due to nightmares and crap.
     
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am going to ask for something to help, my sleep pattern has been ridiculous this past week. Plus side is my mood is a lot better today though :)
     
  7. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    I wish there was a "thumbs down" option for posts here, but I think what's helpful and not helpful depends on the OP and also the intents of the person who responds....
    I understand where you're at, I've been there... I am there right now.

    Just try different things, I suppose. That's the most valiant effort to make against the mood fluctuations, to try everything just to make it level off. Sleep, yes. Distractions, yes. Just making lists to tick off minor things, yes. Being anything but physically alone.... pretty important, at least for me.
     
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Thank you Valis for your response.


    I am pretty much willing to give anything a try because when I reach these states, I get so desperate. I find playing PC games quite therapeutic when I am quite agitated, especially the sims because I can take out my frustrations on them :laugh: . I try writing, watching films, sometimes tidying up, focusing myself into my studies to distract myself and often these distractions do work. It's just when they don't, I feel and become totally helpless, as I did when I originally posted this thread. I tried contacting the Samaritans but they weren't very helpful in this situation as they don't give you suggestions or anything. I just don't know how to deal with an agitated mood where absolutely nothing works, my mind is racing and nothing can help and I could flip into a violent rage. There is probably not an answer out there, but it helps to know that I am not the only person who experiences these frutrations.
     
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