Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Sparrow91, Apr 25, 2014.

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  1. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    It's been about 6 months since the last time I cut. The time before that was 5 years. I'm really hoping I can stop for good this time but it's so hard . Sometimes I don't want to stop for good.. I think about it every day. I have even played with my items and it's tempting. I was going to hide them or give them to someone to hide but I can't bear to part with it. It's hard to talk about it too. When I shower I catch myself staring at the razors sometimes. I've noticed when my stress goes higher than normal or my emotions are just about ready to explode I start playing with sharp things, the thoughts are constant. I am so stressed this quarter.... So it's not like I can get away from it. I'm always busy but that doesn't stop the thoughts. I've been hanging on but it's starting to feel like my strength is wearing thin like a thread falling apart. I haven't been on here for a few months and I'm back on because I'm struggling.... Sometimes I feel like being on here is like a trigger. Sometimes it's helpful. I get nervous that someone will catch me on this, it would add to the stress. I'm a mess as you can read.. I apologize it's so long. I don't know what else to do.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Sparrow glad to see you reaching out ok Please hun don't torment yourself throw the tools away ok just do it throw them away Harming you will only start the vicious cycle again
    Instead hun keep talking to us ok be kind to you ok hugs
  3. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    It so hard though... Every time up think about throwing them out I just turn the other way. I know it will start a cycle again like it has in the past but I don't know what else to do. Typing here helps but who cares really? Like yes you responded to my post and I thank you immensely but what other alternative do I have. Logically plenty of things like running and stuff but it only works for so long and I come back to the same place I always was. I feel so alone . And I'm crying now because I'm so confused it makes no sense but I can't give it up.
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hi, your pm also made me drop by this forum again
    long time, no speak...
    i agree, being here is triggering but i'm also glad you came here for back up.

    squeeze even more pass times in there?
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