It's been about 6 months since the last time I cut. The time before that was 5 years. I'm really hoping I can stop for good this time but it's so hard . Sometimes I don't want to stop for good.. I think about it every day. I have even played with my items and it's tempting. I was going to hide them or give them to someone to hide but I can't bear to part with it. It's hard to talk about it too. When I shower I catch myself staring at the razors sometimes. I've noticed when my stress goes higher than normal or my emotions are just about ready to explode I start playing with sharp things, the thoughts are constant. I am so stressed this quarter.... So it's not like I can get away from it. I'm always busy but that doesn't stop the thoughts. I've been hanging on but it's starting to feel like my strength is wearing thin like a thread falling apart. I haven't been on here for a few months and I'm back on because I'm struggling.... Sometimes I feel like being on here is like a trigger. Sometimes it's helpful. I get nervous that someone will catch me on this, it would add to the stress. I'm a mess as you can read.. I apologize it's so long. I don't know what else to do.