Sorry guys, I feel really selfish for posting this as I know so many of you and so many people in the world have a much harder life. I am so tired and struggling with thoughts and a desire to end my life. I've got a lot of health problems and have been in varying amounts of pain for the last 20 years. The last straw is another two painful conditions that I've developed in the last few months. The depression is back full force. I keep crying, even in public and don't see the point in going on. I started a new contraceptive pill last week and since then I've been getting worse, but don't see the point in trying to do anything about it because this illness always, always comes back. Hearing about Robin Williams has also triggered stuff for me...... If even he couldn't carry on what chance do I have? I'm going through a very sad divorce, have a job that I barely cope with (due back in a couple of weeks), struggle with money because of the divorce, have very few friends and my fatigue restricts activity or pursuing hobbies that would get me out. My partner is a brilliant mathematician and I mean world class and my intellect was the only thing that I thought I was good at. It turns out I'm actually very stupid, slow forgetful, no concentration, nothing to show for decades of life and I'm actually just another of life's f*** ups. (Those are my words btw not his!! He is very supportive as a serious depressive himself.) Lots of potential when I was younger, multiple careers, multiple breakdowns and two failed marriages later there's not a lot left. I'm scared that I'm actually going go to do this. The more I hear of others doing it (I collect news stories - weirdo) the more I realize it it possible.