Struggling

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Jay333, Apr 4, 2016.

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  1. Jay333

    Jay333 New Member

    Hi everyone, my name is Jay. First time on any kind of a suicide/depression forum. I've struggled with depression/anxiety on and off for years and at times I had it under control. Lately (last 12 months) I have been losing control and as hard as I try to get it back it seems like a losing battle. For me it's not that I want to die its that I don't want to go on feeling like this and after you have spent years trying to make things better to no avail suicide seems like the only option. Lately even things like cutting don't make me feel any better they only make me feel more ashamed of myself for not being able to make myself well and having to resort to that as a coping tool. I guess I'm still alive for now even if I feel like I'm dead inside.
     
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum @Jay333 . I hope you can find some support here on the forums, or in the chat rooms.

    I am sorry to hear that you have been and that you still are struggling.
    Are you getting any help to deal with this?

    Don't feel ashamed; a lot of people struggle with these things and I know how hard it is, but you have nothing to be ashamed over. Just keep up the fight, it can get better!
     
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome @Jay333 to the forum. I hope it helps you. *hugs* Don't give up.
     
  4. Jay333

    Jay333 New Member

    Thanks for the welcome. Im in the process of weaning off my combination of Wellbutrin, celexa and buspar that I have been on for about 7 years while picking up my new Effexor XR so I'm hoping if I can get through this change things will get better. It's just these meds combined with the withdrawals make me crash harder than ever before and it can happen anywhere so I'm just trying to hide inside lately.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forum. I'm sure you're already aware anti-depressants can take up to 6-8 weeks for the full effects to come on. I hope you can get through this very difficult time safely, I think you can do this :) As you said you don't want to die as such you just want things to be different and that can happen, things can change. What are you hoping for right now?
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi, and welcome to the site. I'm glad you're still alive and hope you manage to hold on through the transition with the meds.
     
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