Having a tough time. Not sure what to do. Called my T to see if they had opening today, they didn't. Completely understandable and acceptable. If I had gone I'm not sure what I would have said. Or how much I would have said. I'm not in a good place. I've been researching methods. Tonight I've SH pretty badly. I tried not to. I'm trying to distract. I have tried. I've done some things that normally help me get to a place where I can then do some relaxation things. Nothing is helping so far today. Or yesterday. This is ridiculous, I know it is. I feel very frustrated with myself for getting to this place again and not being able or competent enough to get out of it. I just don't know what to do now to get some relief.