Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Feb 26, 2009.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    i dont understand y i keep crying for no reason, and its not just a few tears but hours and hours of so sick of crying and hurting and not helping enough....i should be talking less and helping more not the other way around....i miss mom so much that i cant focus on what i should be so frickin angry with god for taking mom, never even got to say goodbye while she was living....been struggling for nites but keep ignoring the pain but the more i ignore it and hold it bad the worse the dreams become...they're getting so violent makes me not wanna sleep....i just wanna say im done and do it but i cant leave all the ppl that depend on me here and at work...ud think that would comfort me enough to keep me going but its not enough...i want someone to love me and hold me....and understand when i say i ant stand the pain...but no one is there....i took moms cross and broke it...i cnt stand to look at it...i hate him so much....ppl keep saying that mom and i will be together again someday but i need here now...she promised me, she promised shed be here and shes not....and ITS MY FAULT.....I WISHED THAT SHE WOULD DIE, I WAS SO ANGRY WITH HER FOR DESTROYING MY LIFE...I YELLED AT HER, I MADE HER CRY WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE...ITS MY FAULT SHE DEAD... MINE AND GODS
    :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
  2. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    you are grieving.. its a process... and a horrible thing to go through
    and it is NO WAY your fault.. your mother loved you and you her...


    get some support with your grief ana x it will help you x
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend is not your fault. about your mom. it must be horrible to be without her. i cannot imagine. i am lucky enough to still have my mom. . and i am old already. the grieving process is hard. it is very hard work. it takes time. and you must go through it, or you cannot heal. no. you'll never ''get over'' losing your mom. but. you can go on. . . and live. and thrive.
    you need some real life help- can you try to find a way to get it?? but...for sure....we are here for you - do not forget that. you can never have too much support.... i care. pm if you need to talk. keep reaching out. xxxx:console:
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Have you thought about joining a grief support group? Other members there can help you through your grief cuz they have or are where you are right now hun. And there are plenty of hugs to go around at support groups. I know they wil never replace the ones you are seeking but a real hug given by anyone who understands can make a big difference. And please dont keep carrying the guilt around. It will destroy you mentally and physically. IF God himself cant stop loved ones from passing how can you think you could sweetie? I truly believe that those we love are still watching over us, like your mom is right now. Hun you have people that care about you and will help as much as we can. But think about the support group too please?
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member