Usually when I talk about suicide Im not really considering it. Im just trying to work out my feelings and find my options. Lately I have found myself really considering suicide a lot. My prospect of getting a decent home are gone (see my most recent post in the crisis section). My lifes not getting any better. Im not going to have more money in the future to help ease my worries. My health is getting worse off by the day..I have nothing to live for..I stick around this crap existance because of my dogs. Its stupid I know..Most people find ways to cope for their kids, their spouses, ect, ect. Im struggling to cope for my dogs..Im crazy...... With my ssi case stalled at the appeal level (for maybe two years according to the laywer), with bills getting higher and higher, with money not getting any better, and now my option for a decent home dissapeared - Im struggling hard to find reasons to stay alive. Why do I need to live if Im miserable..Why should I struggle with food, electric, gas for the car, clothes for our backs, and housing issues every day with no prospects of a better future.. Why do I need to sit everday and feel like Im wasting space that could be used for someone that wants to live because their life is alright... Now I dont know if I will kill or hurt myself. I dont know if I can bring myself to the point of going thru with something like that (mostly because Im afraid of the pain and cant afford anything to help with a less painful excape hatch).. Im just suffering and its not getting better..Im calmer, believe it or not Im calm as I write this here..Its just getting harder and harder everday to deal and to find ways to cope and reasons to want to live.