Struggling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aimee_in_Wonderland, Sep 20, 2010.

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  1. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    to keep myself from doing something i cant control my feelings anymore i want so much but i just cant keep going on this way, my head is all over the place i thought i could keep myself straight and working to stay away from the depression areas of my life.. but i somehow keep ending up there ive tried for so long to pretend my depression isnt there anymore but i know it is it never goes its constant i feel like its suffercating me the whole time sucking the life out of me..

    i havent felt this down in a very long time i dont know what to do with myself i cant help but claw at my skin in hate
    i look in the mirror and i cant stand whats looking back at me
    i hate everything about myself im never right always wrong.
    i give up up trying to work things out trying to be better
    its not going to change.

    i have the house to myself
    its so tempting to just slip under in the bath cutting my wrists
    and just falling asleep...

    its going to make everything better.. if im not here they will be happy all of them.
     
  2. Jl1234

    Jl1234 Member

    Hello loveLy. I can see you're in so much pain. Have you anyone that you can talk to. I hate to think that you're on your own when you feel like this. Please try and keep yourself safe and not hurt yourself in any way. Your life and wellbeing are precious hang on to them.
     
  3. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    its not its been like this for to long i dont know any other feeling other than this..
    i cant take anymore of the pain.. i hate who i am its never going to change
    i have nothing left to live for anymore
     
  4. Jl1234

    Jl1234 Member

    Sweetheart i lost my youngest son to suicide in february. It has destroyed me his brother in fact our whole family. I can see your hurting right now but if you can just get yourself through this and realise that you are not worthless you are not a burden to those that know you. You are a precious individual but need to find your own self worth. Even if you think your family friends etc don't care just know that I do. Thinking of you sweetie. Keep safe. X
     
  5. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    i already know i am they have said it so much
    my parents cant even look me in the face
    one person i thought had always cared took my trust and told everyone what i hide behind my eyes

    Im sorry you lost your son..
    you shouldnt care because i can honestly say im not worth caring about
    all ive ever done is hurt people this will make it better and easier for everyone
     
  6. Jl1234

    Jl1234 Member

    You are so wrong sweetie. Of course I care. You are worth caring about you just have to find that belief in yourself. Believe me if you take your life it will not make anything better for anyone. You will leave behind you actrail of devastation. People that are close to you will live the rest of their lives in do much guilt and pain that they couldn't help you. I have to go but please listen to what ii sm saying to you. Your life is precious you are precious. Please keep yourself safe. I do really care about you. Get some rest hope you have a peaceful and safe night. Jackie
     
  7. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    i just cant do it anymore
     
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